Letters between BeachHead and Aunt Beth
by willwrite4fics
Summary: I know, lousy title. But that's what it is. Tame letters, passing between them describing what's going on. It helps to have read "Joes on Vacation" so you know the characters mentioned. I don't own GI Joe, nor do I profit from my writings. Please enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

Hi all! I'm here to post some of the letters back and forth between BeachHead(Wayne) and Aunt Beth(Scarlett's aunt OC from Joes on Vacation). Since there were so many requests for it, I decided to go ahead and write some up for you.

I had the idea well before the recently posted letters between SnakeEyes and Scarlett, although their letters were written well before this! Talking with the author, they said they don't mind me using a similar idea, so here it is!

I do not have any rights to the GI Joe brand and only borrow to write for entertainment, I make no money off these writings!

I've reprinted the first two letters from the last chapter to the Vacation fic, so that if you did not read it, the following letters still make sense!

_* * * *_

_Dear Wayne,_

_I hope your drive back to base went well and that you didn't try to drive all the way back in one run. I know you were anxious to get back though, so I'll be betting that you did indeed rush the trip by driving all the way without stopping. Where you get your energy from, I'll never understand!_

_I enjoyed your visit so much and I hope that you will reconsider about christmas. Won't your friend Granite(I think that was his name?) take your shift? I know the kids would love to see you again. Kevin asked if 'his Army friend' went back home and if you went off to war. His dad watches a lot of war movies and I think he's afraid you go and do things like running into battles with guns and it worries him._

_Have you talked to that lady friend of yours? If you haven't then you should right away! Jack and Seth both said they want to see a picture of her, because apparently they think she must be very pretty._

_My hens have finally started to lay properly. I went out and gave them a talking to about not laying. I can make chicken and dumplings with any that don't want to lay eggs, after all! The two nannies are about to kid any day now. Hopefully they'll both have twin girls, that would be perfect! The whole silly flock of ducks got out of their pen somehow and I spent most of a day rounding them up from the neighbor's pond. The hole in the fencing is fixed now, which is good, because I don't think I'd like rounding them up again! That's too much work._

_I found more of the purple yarn that I gave you so if you run out, I can send it so you can finish the scarf. You still are knitting, right? I haven't found the blue yarn for SnakeEyes' sweater but it's here somewhere. I'll have to trip over it before I find it, I guess._

_Nancy just called and when she heard I was writing to you, she said to tell you that she hasn't forgotten your box of cookies, but her oven decided to stop working. She's trying to get a new fancy one with all sort of gadgets and geegaws. Bobby is trying to convince her that a regular oven is good enough. Once he gives in and gets her the fancy one, she'll bake up your cookies, no fear._

_June called(well, her mother called and let June talk to me, of course)and she was chatting about school and how she told her teacher about 'Uncle BeachHead' and how you ran for ten miles every morning. She won a fitness award and got a ribbon for it and she's very proud of herself and said she was going to write you a letter to tell you all about it._

_Well I hope that you are doing okay out there and staying busy. Are your recruits all behaving and doing well? I know you are a good trainer and will teach them all they need to know. _

_I'm thinking about you and hoping you are well,_

_Aunt Beth_

* * * *

Dear Aunt Beth,

Got home fine. All is well here. Thanks for the letter.

Wayne

This was discarded so that he wrote the following.....

Dear Aunt Beth,

I got your letter. The drive back went fine. I think you meant Flint instead of 'granite', although he is a bit of a rock-head. He isn't kindly disposed towards me at the best of times. But even so, he is going off base so I have to stay here and run things. Otherwise, there could be a repeat of the prank war that happened three years ago, no one wants that, trust me. Cleaning four hundred pounds of peanut butter out of a hummer is no fun.

Tell Kevin I'm fine. I can't say a whole lot more than that. I had dinner with my 'lady friend' in the messhall but she put salt in the sugar again for my tea so I don't know if she's mad at me or not. Women are confusing.. no offense to you. Do you think I should give her the scarf when it's done? I don't know if that's a good idea or not.

If those chickens don't lay eggs then I'd eat them too. I think you should just eat the ducks too. Can you make ducks and dumplings? I don't understand why you have babysitters? And two of them? But they are pregnant? Don't nannys take care of kids? I still have a lot of yarn, the ball is still almost as big as my fist. Some of my teammates tried to tease me about knitting but I set them straight pretty quick. There wasn't much bloodshed but our medic yelled at me anyway. It wasn't like I tried to aim the guy at the coffeetable after all.

I agree with Bobby, a plain old oven should be just fine. No need to fancy up something that you just need to bake cookies in. I'm not surprised that June won an award, she's one tough little girl. She could show up some of these whiny recruits I have this time. They start whining and falling out if I push them past ten miles in full gear. I'll whip them into shape quick though.

Well, I'm about to go on duty so I hope this letter is long enough. I don't think I've ever written so much that wasn't explaining about a lost armored vehicle in a official report. Thanks a lot for writing to me. I really enjoyed getting your letter.

BeachHead/Wayne

_* * * *_

_Dear Wayne,_

_Yes, Flint, I'm sorry I misremembered his name. I think it's terrible that he won't let you go off for Christmas. I guess everyone wants vacation time though. But where would anyone get four hundred pounds of peanut butter.. and why would they put it into a truck like that? I think bored Army boys are the most inventive people sometimes._

_I hope you're not going into dangerous situations. I worry enough about all of you already! Kevin wanted me to ask you if you get to ride in tanks! Isn't that the funniest thing? I guess he just thinks all Army men carry guns around and ride in tanks everywhere! He said he misses getting to see you and his dad said to send you greetings from him as well. See? Everyone misses you, so that means you have to come back soon to visit again. That's the rules._

_I think that lady of yours wants your attention, and that's the reason she plays pranks on you! Salt in the sugar is rather funny, although a waste of perfectly good tea. Was the rest of the dinner good? Was it romantic? Or was it a giant rush of people and you just happened to sit at the same table? I know you, you'd try to wriggle out of asking her out if you could. I bet she would be delighted at getting the scarf from you. That's a wonderful idea!_

_The chickens are still laying, but those darned ducks got loose AGAIN! This time they went into the woods across the street and it took two days to get all of them back into the pen. I'm beginning to think ducks and dumplings might be worth a try!_

_Nannys are girl goats, dear. My goats were pregnant but both delivered already. One had twin boys and the other had a lovely little brown girl. I wanted all girls because the only real use for boy goats is the dinnertable. I'd prefer to sell girls or keep some to breed next year. _

_Now don't you be getting into trouble with your fellow soldiers about the knitting! You shouldn't be solving your issues with violence! That's never the way. Nancy got her fancy oven, just like we knew she would. Your cookies should arrive pretty quickly, as she's eager to test it out._

_I have to ask, how would you possibly lose a armored vehicle? Aren't they awfully large to lose? _

_Seth reminded me twice that he still hasn't gotten any pictures of your mystery lady. Did you tell him she was a 'bombshell'. That's what he keeps telling me anyway. I'm sure she's lovely. Sallah advanced to blackbelt in her age class and is very proud. I told her to write you herself, but typically for a teenager, she blew it off and said I could just tell you in my letter to you instead. So now you know._

_Paddy said to tell you he says "keep your nose clean, sergeant major." And Sean wants to know 'did you try the bread recipe yet?'. _

_I might be boarding a Jersey cow for a lady. That would be wonderful as I do love fresh raw milk and there's no where local to get any. I think I might even try out a few cheese recipes!_

_Well that's about it from here. It's very cold here. I hope you are staying warm and not doing anything too dangerous. I want to hear that you've done more with your lady by your next letter. It was delightful to hear from you!_

_All my love,_

_Aunt Beth_

_* * * *_

_Dear Wayne,_

_I didn't hear from you, but I'm guessing you're probably quite busy. With all the duties you mentioned I'll bet you are running from sun-up to sun-down. Hope all is well._

_The baby goats are doing very well, growing quickly and looking very good. The boys aren't growing as fast as the girl, but she doesn't have to share the milk with a brother. The chickens are laying a lot of eggs, so many that I take some over to Paddy and the boys once a week. Paddy says that farm eggs taste ten times better than commercial ones, and he's certainly right. Cakes made with my eggs taste better too, but duck eggs are even better. Now if I could keep the silly ducks penned up, that might happen. I had to herd them down the road from the neighborhood playground yesterday. Silly ducks! If they weren't so good at eating bugs, I think I'd get rid of them. They are very hard to catch when they get out._

_Kevin talked to June and they decided that you must go everywhere in a tank now. I tried explaining that you train other soldiers but you know how kids are. They like to think the most exciting parts of life are how it is. Kevin said to ask if you ever get to see a tank, and June says to tell you she misses you and that she is going to send you a letter too. Don't feel too bad if it takes a while, the kids are back in school and they have the memory of a hummingbird at times. They certainly keep life interesting._

_How is it going with your lady friend? Did you have dinner any more? Is she still playing jokes on you? I think that she must like you. Seth told me that you said she is a model, but she's in the Army so which is it? Does the Army have models? Maybe to do commercials for recruiting? I'm not sure. I'm certain that she's very nice if you like her so much though._

_I have to go finish shoveling the snow outside. Sean came over and did my driveway, but I will do my own walkway. If it snows more tonight, I'll have to shovel all of it myself anyway, as the boys have that tournament to prepare for, unless they have to cancel it for the weather. Hopefully not, they've been working on it for quite some time._

_Hope to hear from you soon, and that you're safe and warm,_

_Aunt Beth_

_* * * *_

Dear Aunt Beth,

Sorry it's been a while since your letters arrived, but I just got them, I was off base on a mission. It's okay, I call Flint worse names than Granite any day of the week. I called him Granite just to get his goat though. He wasn't pleased.

Speaking of goats, I thought girl goats were just called.. girl goats. Who knew they had names for that stuff? So will you eat the boy babies? I like goat. But then, I like to eat just about anything. You've seen how that works. But I'll bet you make a mean goat stew.. or whatever it is you make with goat meat. How long until they're big enough to eat? I still say eating them ducks is the best use. Easiest way to catch most things is with a fast moving bullet. If they get out again, just mow them all down with a few short bursts of automatic gunfire and go pick them up to cook them. Shouldn't take much, ducks are small so one bullet would do them. Might even get a couple with one shot if you can line them up good.

Well, I do carry a bunch of guns and I get to ride on a tank on occasion. That lady friend of mine is a great tank driver in fact. One of the best tank drivers I've ever seen. We ate dinner again in the messhall last night after I got back from the mission. She said she missed me and offered to change the bandages on my arm for me. I guess that's a good sign right? I mean.. she didn't play any pranks on me, but I think she felt sorry for me on account of me limping. My morning runs are off until the Doc say I'm cleared to run again, which I think is a load of bull pucky. The limp will disappear if I run on the leg enough. Gotta make it stronger, and babying it won't do that. So I run on a treadmill after hours, so he won't catch me. I tried going for a night run, but the guards on duty called him up and ratted me out. Doc threatened to put me on bed rest! Can you believe that?

I don't think sending Seth a picture is a good idea. Courtney was a model before she went and joined the Army, and she's so pretty that she could go right back to it again too. I saw some of the pictures of her then and she was pretty, just really skinny. I told her she looks a lot better now that she gained so much weight. She got all mad at me though! I don't understand why, I said she looks good? But if Seth saw a picture of her, he might up and decide to join the Army to get at her, and then Shana would kick me in the head for recruiting him. I mean, she can't go kicking me in the head right now, on account of me being all bandaged up, but I know she wouldn't forget, she'd do it later on. She never forgets an excuse to give me a good licking.

I checked the Army rule books, just in case I missed that rule, and I couldn't find it. So I guess I still won't be visiting for Christmas. Tell everyone I said hello. Those cookies haven't arrived yet, but as long as Nancy hasn't forgotten, it's all fine. They would have arrived when I was off-base and the guys would have eaten them all up and I would have had to kill them all. That would get me into big trouble and we wouldn't want that. As far as solving my problems with violence.. you have met me. Right? I mean.. I'm sort of a violent person. Guns.. fighting.. army Ranger.. ring any bells? Plus, you live around that whole lot of O'Hara boys.. with the karate dojo and beating on each other at the drop of a hat. I ain't much different.. just better at it. Yeah I know, I can almost feel your big whapping spoon hitting me in the head right now.

You tell Sallah congratulations from me. Big achievement but I could still squash her like a bug. She'll get all huffy. It'll be a real treat. And you can tell her that I never get no letters anyway, except now the ones I got from you. So I won't miss not getting letters from her, it'll just be life as usual. If you want to keep writing, I really enjoy getting a letter. It's always a good feeling to hear your name called by the mail guy when he comes around.

Please tell Paddy that I keep my nose as clean as possible, but I tend to get into trouble for nothing at all. I mean.. no one ever told me I couldn't send the PT squad to climb over the Chaplain's assistant's buildings for practice. We only broke two windows and that one Chaplain said he'd forgive us.. just as soon as his broken arm heals. Wasn't my fault that Bazooka landed on him.

Tell Sean that I'll try the bread making out soon. I didn't get a chance to do it, but our heavy gunner said I could try it out and he'll supervise so I don't burn down the kitchen... again. Not that I burned the WHOLE kitchen down the first time. We do have the best fire suppression systems available after all.

You shouldn't be shoveling all that snow yourself. You tell Seth to take his lazy butt over there and shovel it for you or I'll have to give him a butt-kicking when I see him again. Or.. I tell SnakeEyes and he'll do it for me.

Sorry this letter has gotten so long, but I'm not allowed to do much because of Doc's restrictions. I already got all my paperwork done, and that's a danged miracle. I never catch it all up, but my inbox is empty! Maybe I'll go try that bread stuff later today.

I was gonna ask though, why did they ship a cow all the way from Jersey? Don't they keep cows up there? Not that I'd want to stay there myself, it's a noisy dirty place to be. Would you make real cheese? Never heard of anyone making cheese themselves before. I milked a goat once, but I never had no chance to milk a real cow before. Not thinking I'd want to try either. Cows are big crazy critters better suited to being on my plate than running around trying to kick me.

Well, Private Williams just showed up with another stack of papers for me. He's a good kid, but he's decided he should help me since I'm not supposed to be up doing much stuff. Mainly he gets in my way and I think he might be tattling on me to the Doc too. If I catch him, I'll make him run laps until he falls out. That'll teach him. My greenies all decided to act up yesterday, they painted the side of our motorpool pink with big flowers for some crazy reason. I got them all scrubbing the paint off with q-tips now. By the time they get done, they'll wish they never thought of doing it for sure. I bet Mouth put them up to it so he's the one passing out Q-tips instead of doing any scrubbing himself. The rest of the greenies are all glaring him into the ground and I'll bet he's sporting a few lumps on his head by tomorrow. That should teach him to stop causing trouble and getting everyone else into trouble with him.

I'll get back to these papers and hope that when I go see Doc I ain't pulled any stitches out. He gets downright ornery if you pull out stitches on accident. I didn't know that working out on the gym machines would tear the stitches though. Wasn't all my fault, he just said no PT, he didn't say I couldn't use the gym too. He should be more specific instead of yelling at me.

Hope all it well, and thanks for the letters I really enjoyed them!

Wayne

p.s. they got the peanut better from the messhall. We use a lot of peanut butter here, and yes, Army grunts can cause more trouble than a whole platoon of regular folks.

w.

_* * * *_

End chapter

There will be more letters posted! Keep an eye out for the next chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

Second set of letters, since I had them done already anyway!

I hope this is entertaining, it's kind of funny to picture someone reading one of these going "You did what? To who? For HOW many jellybeans??"

* * * *

_Dear Wayne,_

_You got hurt? How badly are you hurt? You poor thing, is there anything I can do? Don't try to overdo it, and you listen to your doctor! You shouldn't be out running and trying to do so much if you've been injured! What happened? I think you should be resting, not trying to run around doing more work!_

_Wayne, I'm not going to shoot my ducks! They did get out again, but I just catch them and put them back. I won't eat the baby goats either, I'll sell them. Maybe the people who buy them will eat them, but after I raise them, I can't bear to kill them and eat them. They are so cute. I do make a good goat stew though. Not out of MY goats though._

_I think Courtney sounds very nice. I'm glad she isn't playing jokes on you while you're hurt. I'm still worried about you! Why are you getting hurt anyway? Are you doing dangerous things? If Courtney was a model then I bet she is pretty, but are you pulling my leg about her driving tanks? I mean.. she's a girl. Driving a tank? Next you'll tell me she shoots those big guns too. And ladies don't like to be told they are getting fat, Wayne. Don't tell Courtney you think she's gained weight and is fat now. She won't like that at all._

_You tell Shana I said not to be kicking you. She shouldn't be kicking people, it's not nice. I hope she gets to come visit for Christmas, at least I'll get to see SOMEONE for Christmas, since you keep insisting you don't want to come back. Sallah just looked over my shoulder and said she will kick you in the head next time, just to prove to you that she can. Don't worry though, I'll set her straight. I think all these kids are all crazy some days. She has karate on the brain._

_I'm confused again. You dropped a bazooka on a chaplain? Why would you do that to a priest? Was it just an accident? Why did you have a bazooka anyway? Sometimes I think you're making things up as a joke. Is that a joke?_

_I know you'll do a great job on that bread. It's an easy recipe. Is the 'heavy gunner' the chef you mentioned at Thanksgiving? And is he a heavy guy who carries a gun, or does he carry a heavy gun? I don't know the Army terms. And I can shovel my own snow, thank you very much! I'm no weakling you know. _

_The Jersey cow arrived today. It's not from New Jersey, it's a breed of milk cow! A woman nearby has a few and this one is pregnant and due to drop a calf, but her other cows were bullying the poor thing. So she is going to board it here, and when the calf is born I get to keep it if I like. I can also keep all the milk once the calf is born. If I sell the calf, I'll get more milk, but if it's a girl I'll want to keep it so I will have my own Jersey cow! It's a very nice bloodline too from a long line of champion show cows. So it would be a nice cow. I named this cow Sissy and she has a pretty face with great big brown eyes._

_It sounds like you have your hands full supervising those soldiers. Do they get into trouble all the time? You should let Private Williams help you,especially if you're hurt. What sort of mission was it? Did you fall or something and get hurt? You should be careful!_

_The tournament got delayed two weeks. The weather made them change the time, and there was another big tournament scheduled next week, so Paddy had to change to two weeks later. He's not very happy over it, but it's the weather, so what can you do? They can't hold a tournament if the people can't get to the dojo._

_I'm glad you enjoy the letters, and of course I'll write to you! How silly! I want to hear from you and see how you're doing and how it's going with your girlfriend too. Did the scarf get done yet? Do you need more of the purple yarn? I'm making you something now, but it's not knitted. I am making SnakeEyes a new sweater soon, even though you said you'd repair his old sweater, he needs a new one. I did find the blue yarn, hopefully it made the trip there in the box okay. It's a small amount, but should be plenty to darn a couple holes. I hope you enjoy the cake too. It's a new recipe and I think it turned out a bit dry. Since Nancy hadn't sent your cookies, I thought I'd send you a care package myself. She said the cookies should go out the first of the week, and from what she told me, you should enjoy them a lot. She goes all out when she makes cookies, best cookie-maker I've ever known! I'm sure there will be enough to share, so you have no excuse to go beating up on the other soldiers. I will whap you with a spoon if you don't behave yourself, you know!_

_Take care of yourself, and please.. don't overdo it! You rest a lot and get better! No arguing with your doctor! How did you get hurt anyway? I hope you didn't take a nasty fall or something._

_All my love,_

_Aunt Beth._

_* * * *_

Dear Aunt Beth,

I'm FINE. I'm a big bad Army Ranger, I am FINE. Now if Doc would just agree with me, we'd all be happy. I did 'fall'.. out of a plane with a parachute. Airborne Rangers do that a lot. It's why we get to put the "airborne" in front of the Ranger part. It was a poor mission, and things went badly, I ended up getting shot twice. It's not a big deal, just a flesh wound on my arm, it was just a 9mm round and didn't hit any bone. The leg was from me getting dragged through a fenceline of razor wire. Ruined my cargo pants and a nice set of leg armor not to mention the damage to my leg. Other than a bunch of stitches, it was fine. I should have cut away sooner from the chute before the wind caught it, but I was busy trying not to get shot at the time. Didn't do too well at it obviously. It's a bit embarrassing to admit, but I had to limp out on my own, because I sent the other two guys to finish the mission. I would have just slowed them down. So I played rear guard and when they came back two days later, I picked off the pursuit vehicle from a sniper position. We got to the extraction point just fine, but my leg got infected at some point with all the dirt and such getting into the big holes in it. Doc had it all cleaned up and stitched shut and it's healing up just fine. He said I could start PT again in another week.. which will make a total of three weeks off PT. If he knew I'd been working out at night, he'd probably make good on his threat of medical leave for three months, but I'm careful not to get caught. It can be tricky, because our medic is really good at catching me doing things I'm not supposed to be doing according to the Doc. But I'm more tricky than he is, so I usually can avoid getting caught.

I probably shouldn't go into so much detail about the whole mission, but it's declassified now. And I'm not gonna tell you where it was or what the objective was, so it's okay. And you did ask.

I guess if you get all attached to the goats it would be hard to eat them. I still think you should eat those troublesome ducks though.

Courtney sure does drive tanks. She's the best driver there is. And she can fix them too, I've seen her pull apart a Mauler engine and put it back together without a single problem. And she has gained a lot of weight. She's got a ton of muscles now, instead of that stick figure she used to be. Looks much healthier, so why isn't that a compliment to tell her? I don't understand woman at all. I took her lunch to the motorpool day before yesterday, which she seemed to like just fine. I knew she'd work through lunch since we got a new shipment of parts and she wanted to replace the treads on one of our heavy tracked vehicles. Once Courtney gets going on something, she tends to stick with it until she'd done. She stays focused and she's not into all that complex trickery like most women. If she tells you she doesn't like something, you can bet she doesn't like it. Some women tell you things, but you're supposed to just know they mean something else entirely. Doesn't make any sense to me. I told her I liked how simple she was, and she promptly hit me with her wrench! It was one of the big ones too, kind of hurt. I had to leave right quick, because she was mad over something or other and was yelling at me about me being insensitive. I dunno what she was mad about. Every time I tell her I like her, she gets angry at me. Maybe she doesn't like me after all.

You tell Sallah if she tries to kick me in the head, I'll turn her over my knee and spank her like the kid she is. When she grows up and all, I'm sure she'll kick me again for doing it, but I'll still do it anyway. Shana kicks me enough, but it's her job doing it. She has to train hand-to-hand when SnakeEyes isn't around to do it. There's a lot of us here too, so she gets all the beginners to take some of the work off him. He's busy enough all on his own, besides the training.

Bazooka is one of the teammates, not A bazooka. We tend to use handheld missiles instead of the old bazookas anyway. Not much different, but more reliable and accurate. Anyway, Bazooka is a bit hefty and he's not all that great at climbing, so he fell on the Chaplain. Duke said it was my fault for having them climbing the building in the first place.

Roadblock is a heavy guy who carries a heavy gun. He's also the best cook in the Army. He was supposed to supervise me on the bread, but I figured that it looked easy when Sean did it, so I tried to make it without Roadblock there. We don't have the little packets of yeast like Sean had, so I had to use some out of a jar. There wasn't any way to measure it into 'packet' sized piles, so I think I used half a cup. Seemed like most of the measurements of the other things to put into it was cups of this or cups of that. The cinnamon was in tablespoons, but Sean seemed to think the yeast was pretty important and it has to do all that bubbly stuff, so I figured half a cup would be plenty.

That stuff is crazy. I never saw anything do that. It just kept climbing right out of the bowls, like a horror movie. I spent all night scrubbing half the kitchen from that dough stuff and Roadblock said I ain't allowed back into the kitchen even if I get put on KP duty. I said I was sorry but he's still mad, and I end up getting the leftover food instead of the good stuff when I go through the messline now. If Doc didn't put me on so many restrictions I wouldn't get into so much trouble, so I don't think all this is totally my fault. If I was running PT like I'm supposed to be, I wouldn't be in the danged kitchen in the first place.

Your new cow sounds like a really nice cow.. for a cow. I still prefer to eat them than pet them. However nice their eyes are, the rest of them is darned tasty when you grill it. I hope it gives you a nice little girl cow.. is that a nanny cow? How are the baby goats? Eating size yet? Maybe I could send some covert ops out to take care of those little boy goats and maybe take out a few of the ducks too. A few Navy SEALs showing up to take out a couple of their feathered friends and the rest of those ducks would fall right into line for you, I'll bet. Roadblock might forgive me if I gave him a couple young goats to cook.

Speaking of cooking goats, I'm sending you a recipe for something called 'cabri'. I hope I spelled it right, I can't find the paper GungHo gave me right now. He said it's his momma's recipe for curry goat and it's really good. Just in case you decide to go ahead and cook those little goats after all.

The greenies have been mostly well behaved. I had a whole passel of them go streaking naked across the track though, some sort of bet with Ace I think. I made them all run PT in pink ladies underdrawers. I doubt they'll be taking Ace up on any more silly bets or dares any time soon.

My scarf is about.. three feet long. I guess it's getting nearly done. I'll just go until I run out of yarn, since I'm almost out. Then I'll give it to Courtney. Maybe she won't get mad about that too. She gets mad at me a lot. But then she also does nice stuff. She brought me lunch to the armory today, since I was working on some of the newer sniper rifles. I didn't feel like gimping all the way to the messhall, and then she showed up with lunch! It was real nice and she said so too. Having lunch was nice, I mean. Not me gimping. I told her that Jaye is bringing me some nice new yarn when she gets back from leave and she got mad all over again. I think she was mad that I didn't ask her to get me yarn? But I didn't ask Jaye to do it either, she just told me she was gonna bring me some back. Why is she mad NOW? I'm never gonna get this dating stuff right.

The cake was really great. It didn't seem dry to me, but I ate it with cold milk. Thanks a lot for sending it. SnakeEyes came back just as I got this box, so he took part of it for him. He said he would share the fudge when he gets it from Sean, but I'm not a big fan of fudge. I told him to give some to Doc so he'd stop being mad at me. He says he'll give me some of it anyway though, to give to Courtney. Hopefully she'll like it. She shared some of the cake too and said it's very good. She said it tasted very fattening. I said if she worked harder she wouldn't have to worry about it being fattening and she stormed off about something. I never know when she'll just up and get mad about things.

Looking forward to hearing from you,

Wayne

p.s. I was joking about the Navy SEALs.

_* * * *_

_Dear Wayne,_

_You'll be the death of me yet. You were SHOT and your leg was sliced up by razor wire? What are they doing to you? You should avoid any situations that will get you shot. I swear, you'd jump into a blender if it was big enough. You probably think it's just fine to be shot too. Why didn't you at least keep it clean so it wouldn't get infected? Were you dropped on your head as a child?_

_Stop working out when the doctor said not to! Wayne, I swear, you are so hard-headed! No running on treadmills or whatever else you've been doing when you aren't supposed to! That medic should tie you to a brick or something to slow you down. If I were there, I'd give you a piece of my mind. REST! You need to do what the doctor says so you will heal up._

_Courtney sounds like a wonderful woman. I'm not so sure you aren't pulling my leg about the tank stuff though. You should not ever comment on a lady's weight, not even if you think it's a compliment. Unless you say "You look like you've lost weight" it's going to go badly. And calling someone simple is an insult Wayne. You wouldn't like to be called simple, would you? Sometimes I wonder if you think about what you say before you say it. She's going to get mad if you say insulting things to her, of course. Try saying nice things to her, like how nice she looks or that you enjoy her company. And I'm sure she'll like the fudge, but for god's sake, don't mention it being fattening to her. Lord boy.. haven't you ever dated a girl?_

_Shana is a great instructor, she used to be one of the instructors at the dojo before she joined the Army. She shouldn't be randomly kicking you in the head though. I can't believe you have a teammate named Bazooka. What funny names you all have! I do hope you can stay out of trouble._

_Speaking of trouble... why would you think half a CUP of yeast wouldn't cause a disaster? Wait.. thinking of who I'm talking to, never mind. Yes, it's a bad idea to add too much yeast. I'm not surprised they banned you from the kitchen. Later on maybe they'll relent and let you try again with SUPERVISING. _

_That recipe turned out wonderfully, with goat from a neighboring farm. I trade goat cheese for goat meat with them, since they breed meat goats and I have dairy goats. Sissy the cow is getting huge and should drop her calf any day now. For cows you have bulls and cows as adult cows. Then you have heifers as young girl cows, or steers for bulls who have been neutered. Goats have billys and nannys for the adults, and kids for baby goats, although you can call nanny goats 'does' and young girl goats 'doelings'. Castrated male goats are wethers. I guess there's a lot of terms for goats and cows! But tell your friend GungHo(another funny name!) that the recipe was grand and I liked it a lot. He must like hot food, it's a pretty spicy dish. The boys loved it and Paddy said it was the best curry he's ever tried._

_I'll send you some of the cheese I make when I have a nice batch ready, and you'll see the benefit of having a live cow over a dead one. You can eat a cow once, or you can let it give you milk for a long time. Every time you let a cow have a baby it will give milk for months. And you get a baby cow. Good system, at least in my opinion._

_Those soldiers seem to get into a lot of trouble! I hope you can keep them in line even if you're hurt. Don't overdo it chasing them around though. You need your rest! I think that Courtney was very nice to bring you lunch. You shouldn't talk about other women to your girlfriend though. She was probably just jealous. It's okay. Girls get possessive when they really like a guy. If you explain that you aren't interested in Jaye as a girlfriend, I'm sure Courtney will understand. Just don't tell her she's fat or simple-minded while you do it. I'm glad that Jaye will bring you more yarn. Knitting is a relaxing thing to do especially in the evenings.. when you SHOULDN'T BE RUNNING OR WORKING OUT! At least until your doctor says you can! So you behave and obey your doctor and stay out of trouble._

_The tournament is this week, so I'm sure I'm going to have plenty of update about how it went in my next letter. I knew you were joking about the seals. I'm still not going to kill off my ducks, even though they got into my cabbages and ate half of them up. Who knew that ducks like cabbage so much?_

_Aunt Beth._

_* * * *_

Dear Aunt Beth.

Yes, Courtney does drive tanks for real. She's great. We got along really well this week, mainly on account of her being gone from base for most of it. Don't worry, it's just training runs on some of the newer AWEStriker dune buggy type vehicles. Some of our guys weren't qualified to drive them, so off they all went. I didn't get to go though, stuck back here at base with this darned leg. When she gets back, I'll try some of your advice about how to say nice things to her so she won't get mad.

Shipwreck has been giving me heck, because I'm on crutches with my leg and he decided that meant I couldn't get back at him. So I tripped him with one crutch and pinned him to the floor with the other one on his neck. Not breathing taught him a good lesson about crutches being nothing more than a convenient pair of sticks to fight with. Sean probably knows about cane fighting, but he should try crutch fighting. They're long enough to reach out and hook someone by the neck pretty easily. Some of the team have learned to stay at least six feet away if they are gonna tease me about being gimpy.

Oh.. yeah.. crutches. I know I wasn't on crutches to begin with. Doc wanted me to use them but I said no. After all, my leg was just cut up, no big deal. It was healing up really good too. Well, I was running on the treadmill really late at night and the danged medic popped in and caught me. He made me jump so bad, I fell on the treadmill and it threw me off. Wouldn't have been all that bad but I landed in the weight bench and one of the big bars dropped on my bad leg and busted it all to heck. So now I'm laid up even longer until the cracked bone heals. I can't run on it at ALL now, I don't want to finish breaking the tibia and be in a cast for months. See? I'm obeying Doc's orders and not running now. That should make you happy with me. See how good I'm being? He said I could walk with crutches next week, so I went ahead and got a set from the medical supply and I can walk on them just fine now, without waiting until next week. I call that progressing faster than scheduled. He calls it other things, mostly stuff I can't repeat to you, what with you being a lady and all.

Getting shot ain't all that bad. Okay.. I'm lying. It's pretty awful. I don't try to go get shot though, I do try to avoid it, no matter what you think. It's just that my job sort of puts me in the way of folks who don't want me to do my job.. mainly because my job might involve shooting them. So they figure they should try to shoot me first, on account of that being a great way to discourage a person from doing their job. Once you put a bullet or two into a guy, he loses focus on what he's supposed to be doing. Of course, that's why we invented body armor. Now if I could convince the other guys to just shoot at my body armor, instead of the parts of me that don't have any body armor, it'd work peachy keen.

I asked Roadblock if I could try again with the bread. He threw a pint of milk at my head. I think that means 'no'. GungHo was really pleased that you liked his family recipe. He's been conspiring with Roadblock to cook something good for those of us left here at base for Christmas. I hope it's not gumbo. His gumbo could kill a rat. And you know I'll eat just about anything.. but dang.. it's really bad stuff sometimes. And before you go asking again, no I'm still not coming back for Christmas. With my leg I especially can't leave. The brace Doc strapped onto it really is heavy and awkward, but the one time I took it off, he yelled for a solid half hour at me. So I'm leaving it on. He's got the medic following me around trying to catch me not using the crutches, but I am using them. I don't want to finish breaking my danged leg! I'm not stupid.

I guess having cows is more complex than just eating them after all. But when the cow has a baby, then you can eat the baby cow. That's a good deal. I guess that's like 'having your cake and eating it too'. Only with cows.. and milk. Maybe it's not much like it at all. So if Sissy has a boy 'calf' then will you get to eat it? Or do you sell it to someone else to eat?

Jaye did bring me some really nice yarn. She said it's from Peru and it's called 'highland alpaca'. It's a really nice deep blue color. It's actually Courtney's favorite color, isn't that a strange thing? Jaye picked out the same color that Courtney likes! So I'm making another scarf, only this yarn is even softer than the purple you gave me. It's sort of a little slippery to hang on to, but that's okay. It's not as thick as the purple either, but it's still nice and I thanked Jaye a bunch for bringing it. I got to show it to Courtney and told her I'd make her a scarf in her favorite color now. She got all mushy and hugged me around my neck until I turned blue. Not really, but it certainly felt that way for a minute. She apologized for being upset with me earlier, because she didn't realize I was getting Jaye to get yarn to make her something. I didn't get a chance to tell her it didn't happen like that before she went running off to load up for the training mission. I guess I'll set her straight on how it happened once she gets back.

I didn't know ducks ate cabbages. Cabbage isn't my favorite thing to eat anyway, so those ducks can eat my share, and I'll just eat one of them later on. I'm looking forward to cheese. If you make cheese as good as you cook food, I'm sure it's the best cheese ever. I'm still a bit confuzzled at the idea of making cheese. I mean.. people tend to buy cheese.. not make cheese. I guess SOMEONE makes cheese, cause where does it come from? But.. making it yourself, just seems weird. Jaye said that goat cheese is different than regular cheese from cow milk, but that it was really good. She likes goat cheese on salads. Courtney likes blue cheese on her salads. Is that from cow or goat milk?

I'm sitting at the desk on duty for the day. It's pretty boring because most of the guys are out on the training mission, out on regular missions or hiding so I won't put them to work doing something awful. I'm a bit grumpy over being on crutches and not getting to run every morning. Lifeline said that if I manage to break the bone in my leg, they'll have to do surgery to pin it back together, because I won't stay off of it long enough. So I'm careful not to use it to walk on. I hate surgery a lot. It makes me sick. Really sick. So I avoid it when I have the choice. Of course, I usually don't have a choice at all.

Lately we've had a little excitement as there's some big wigs coming in for a full inspection. It's not the normal course of events for us, as we rarely have inspections by outsiders. These must be some top brass officials to come in like this. So I'm assigning my greenies to scrub the place top to bottom and making sure everyone is organized. It's a bit hard to manage on crutches, so they assigned Dusty to help me out. He's not all that happy, because I make him do all the running around. He's a good enough young man though. Works hard and everyone likes Dusty, so they don't mind if he shows up with orders to do stuff. He's a bit inclined to have fun rather than be serious, but he does get the job done at the end of the day. I think he's stealing all my pens though. They certainly disappear when he's been around. It could be the ninjas though. They have odd senses of humor. Sometimes they'll steal weird stuff. Once I lost every paperclip in my whole office, even the ones clipped onto the paper! Every last one! But the next day, they were all back. Didn't stop me from going and giving SnakeEyes a good yelling over it though. Crazy.

Earlier today I had to sit while Flint gave me a long lecture about how my duties include showing proper respect to all the officers and how I should teach the ideals of the chain of command and such. He's an idiot at times. He thinks I don't 'get it' that he's upset I got the whole battalion of greenies shouting cadence that disparaged warrant officers. He's always getting in my face over stuff and pulling rank. I needle him whenever I have the opportunity. I think I'm going to sneak all his berets out and rinse them in hot water to shrink them a size or two. Think he'll understand it's a comment on the size of his head? Probably not. But at least they can't put me on KP, I'm still not allowed in the kitchen. And I can't stand guard duty because of my leg. Other than making me do paperwork, which I'm already doing, there's not a lot they can do to punish me.

Dusty is back and I have to go check up on things while he holds down the desk. I hope to hear how the tournament went, and if you have a new baby cow yet. Tell everyone I said hi, and for the last time I'm FINE. The bulletholes actually healed up really quickly, although it left a new divot in my upper arm. Just like the little plastic Army man.. still getting chewed up here!

Thanks for the letter,

BeachHead.

_p.s. Hi this is Dusty. Please send cookies. I like cookies a lot. BeachHead is being really grumpy and if he had cookies he might stop yelling at me so much. I'm going to seal this envelope so he doesn't catch me writing on his letter._

_p.s.s. Thanks for writing him letters. He really gets all pleased when he gets one. I actually saw him almost smile last night when his name got called. He comes in the rec room at night a lot to sit with the rest of us almost like he's a regular guy now. Sure, we yank his chain a lot, but Beach is a good guy and works real hard. So thank you a lot for caring enough to send him letters and stuff. dusty_


	3. Chapter 3

A third chapter, just for fun. The letters are addictive aren't they?

* * * *

_Dear Wayne,_

_I hope this care package arrives in a timely manner. Mostly that it arrives before you talk to Courtney about how you didn't ask Jaye to get her favorite color. Sometimes you just have to let something slide, because it makes her happy. So DON'T tell her you didn't ask for her favorite color. I hope her training went well and that she's still in a good mood. _

_I sent some of my own cookies, plus more of that cake, this time made with duck eggs. I kept enough of them penned up to get a few eggs, before they all escaped and ended up on the barn roof! How they got up there I just don't know. I was tempted to get the .22 out and take a few potshots at them, but I came to my senses in time. I also sent an extra two packets of cookies, some for your friend Dusty(since he's been so helpful to you while your leg is hurt) and some for the doctor(since he's been so good about putting up with you while your leg is hurt). Make sure they get those packets, and don't be shy about sharing your own. Nancy's box goes out next week. She made a whole roomful of cookies up, but the darned kids came in and just about wiped her out. She's about to tear them all up, but said she's most upset that you haven't gotten yours yet. I told her I was sending some baked goods and she said that would tide you over, and that she'll make up for it when she sends her box._

_I also sent a couple more sets of knitting needles for you to try out. If you use smaller needles, you get a finer weave of 'cloth' when you are done knitting. Sometimes I like to use the big needles to make big loose pieces for shawls and the like. I added in one of the lacy shawls that I made last year while I was trying out some new techniques. I want you to give that to Courtney. I think she'll like it a lot. There's more yarn in there too. The kind that your friend got you is a nice yarn, and I think you'll like working with it a lot. It was very nice of her to pick out Courtney's favorite color for you too. Thank her for doing that for you too._

_I'm trying not to want to come up there and slap you in the head for breaking your leg by NOT obeying the doctor's orders. At least you seem to have enough sense to stay off of it until it's healed NOW. And Sean is now happily whacking his brothers around with a old pair of crutches. Thank you, now there's a whole new instrument of destruction in that house. Paddy said to tell you he'll get even with you one day._

_Their tournament was a grand success. The officials complimented the dojo and the professionalism of the boys as well. The students all did very well and there were several awards of belts. Other than Buster taking down the visiting Sensei, there were no issues. Sallah is very taken with one of the other boys, good thing he's gone back to Ohio! I know that all her brothers were very overbearing towards him once she started showing interest. Brothers will be brothers._

_June sent you a drawing too. She said it's you and SnakeEyes with Buster. I'm not so sure you can make out the figures but she wanted to send it to you, so there you go! We also printed a lot of pictures from Thanksgiving and I sent you a packet of those to see too. I didn't know that Sean got so many of you._

_I think you should avoid any situations that involve shooting. Body armor or not, sooner or later you'll get seriously hurt, worse than being on crutches. I know, it's your job, but I just hate to hear you'll be in danger._

_I think if you lived on my farm I soon wouldn't have any animals at all. You seem rather bent on all of them getting eaten! In fact Sissy did have the calf, and yes it's a boy. However, since it has such good bloodlines, I already have someone interested in buying it as their future bull. Sissy is from a line of show cows, so the baby is worth a lot to make lots of little Jerseys himself one day. I'm glad as he's just the cutest little thing ever! Like a 80lb stuffed toy!_

_I'll make sure to send some goat cheese for you to try when I send the other cheese. Sissy is giving out a lot of milk now about 4 gallons a day, but I milk her twice so it's about 2 gallons per milking. I took the baby away to put him on a calf formula after a couple days and the new owner will probably come to get him fairly soon so he can bottle raise him himself. It's so good to finally have fresh raw milk to drink, real cream and I can't wait to start some cheeses up. Sissy's milk has so much cream I had to start giving it away, I couldn't keep up with it, even making butter from some of the milk and sending some to Paddy and the boys and Sallah every single day! There's nothing like fresh churned butter. I should see how hard it would be to ship an insulated box out to you guys, and send you all some real butter. I'll do that tomorrow. It's not like I don't have a ton of extra!_

_Blue cheese is from cow milk. I've never made blue cheese, but I might just have to try it, since I have plenty of milk to make cheese with now. The blue is actually mold, did you know that? It's funny that people will throw out cheese with mold on it, but actively culture other cheese with mold in it! Of course, it's a different mold. Don't eat cheese with regular mold on it. That's no good for you! Even you with your cast iron stomach, big tough Army ranger man. _

_I hope that your inspection goes well. And don't be so grumpy with the men, it's not their fault that you broke your leg, it's your own fault for not paying attention to the doctor. I am glad you're using your crutches properly. Don't hit other people with the crutches though, that's not nice, although it's also not nice for them to tease you about being hurt. Be patient and let it heal up properly. I hope you found your pens. Why would anyone steal office supplies? Just as a prank? I'm afraid that I don't understand Army humor. You should try to get along with Flint too, since he's one of your superior officers. I know it's hard sometimes to see the good in people. But I'm sure if you try, you'll find Flint has good qualities too._

_I hope you enjoy the cookies and the cake(see if it tastes different made with duck eggs). Take care of yourself and please don't get hurt any more. At least until you finish healing from the last time. I know it's frustrating to not be physically fit and able to do whatever you like, but be patient and try not to take it out on everyone else around you._

_Also, now you have me curious, so send a picture of Courtney. We're all dying to see what your girlfriend looks like. Seth said to tell you that she's probably ugly, just to make you want to send a picture to prove she isn't. Don't worry, I gave him a good thump for you. I know she's a lovely person! And she really drives tanks and works on vehicles? That's amazing. I guess the equal rights has extended further than we imagined!_

_Be safe,_

_Aunt Beth._

_* * * *_

Dear Aunt Beth,

Well, don't worry. I won't be telling Courtney much of anything. She's not talking to me right now. She got really angry because I yelled at her during the obstacle course and PT. She was slacking and not trying very hard and somehow I was supposed to let her slide. I'm not about to do that and we got into a big fight over it. There was a lot of shouting and fussing and she called me a jerk and stormed off. Not that I wasn't shouting too, the woman gets under my skin like no one else can. But it's my job to ride everyone to get into proper shape to be able to do their job properly.

Everyone enjoyed all the cookies. Thank you a lot for sending them. I have a letter that they all wrote on for you saying thank you and stuff. Don't pay any attention to the marriage proposals, these guys think they are all comedians. Especially Shipwreck, he's the one that asked you to adopt him. Dusty has been insufferable since he got his own packet, although he did share his out too. He knows the rest would tear him apart if he refused. Not so incidentally, that's why I share too. Tough I might be, but there's a lot of guys here and I couldn't defend against all of them! I liked the cake though, I didn't share it with anyone.. I was gonna give part of it to Courtney but we had the fight and now she's not talking to me.

Dusty just told me to make sure to say thank you from him. He signed the page too but he's still insisting on saying thanks again anyway. I'm writing this in the rec room tonight. I was so busy with all the requisition forms and such with this upcoming inspection that I didn't have time while I was in the offices. Not that I should be writing personal letters while on duty anyway, but only when I'm done with everything and I have to sit around in the offices anyway. Usually when I'm on duty for the night shift there's some extra time where nothing is happening. Courtney usually doesn't like it when I'm on night shift, she says it means I don't get to spend much time with her then, but I still have dinner with her. Of course, I haven't had dinner with her for two nights running now. I tried but she just grabbed her tray and left the table. So I stopped trying. I guess somehow it's my fault, it always is. But I can't let her slide on her training. I'd rather break off this whole dating thing and have her be safer with proper training than let her slide and have her get hurt or killed because she couldn't do her job safely. I couldn't take it if something happened to her because I wasn't hard enough on her in training. I really couldn't.

I gave her the shawl too, she really liked it. That was before we argued. She gave me a note to send you too. That's going to be in the envelope with this. And if I'm in trouble with Paddy and you too, you'll have to get in line with everyone else who is mad with me. I'm glad the tourney went well, and Buster should get a honorary green belt for taking out a Sensei.

That sounds like a lot of milk to have every day, what do you do with all of it? Even I couldn't drink 4 gallons of milk a day, and I like milk a lot. I also liked the pictures you sent, although the guys got a hold of them and so I've had nothing but grief over it. They think it's very funny to see me with the kids or helping you cook and stuff. They just never see me do anything but yell at them about stuff and do soldier stuff. So seeing pictures of me with June on my back or whatever just tickled them to no end. If they don't shut up about it, I'm going to break some heads. I did get to show the pictures to Courtney. We all looked at June's picture too, and finally I let our team head shrink look at it. He said a lot of mumble jumble stuff and finally admitted he thinks it looks like an elephant with some trees. I think it's just fine. Tell June I said I like it and I'm going to put it on the wall.

Sallah's brothers are right. You never trust boys. Never. All boys are bad. Sallah should be convinced to become a nun. That would be better. A nun that can kick someone in the head.

My leg is healing slowly. I have a Xray tomorrow to see how much longer I have to wear the brace. I overheard Doc talking today and he said that if I break the bone, he'll send me out for the surgery. Not real happy about that but I've been so careful with it, so it should be healing.. not breaking.

I never heard about cows in a show before. I'm pretty sure you're pulling my leg on that. I'm glad you found someone to buy the little guy though. I'm sure he's a cute little thing.. I bet he looks awfully tasty too. Just kidding. I won't eat your baby cow. I'm pretty certain that you should just take out those ducks. Fort Benning isn't too far off from you, I'm certain I could make a call and have a few sharpshooters come out to your house to pick off all those ducks as a field exercise. No more duck problems. And you could eat them or the guys would take them to eat back at base. Us Rangers will eat darn near anything and ducks are pretty tasty.

I'm not feeling up to doing any knitting tonight I don't think. I'll just go to bed early. So I'm going to sign off on this letter and it'll get mailed out tomorrow. Hope all is well and you don't have much more snow. Thank you again for all the letters and the cookies and such. It's really heartening to get packages and know someone cares.

BeachHead

* * * *

Dear Beth,

Thank you so very much for the shawl. It's really exquisite! I can't believe you make such beautiful things! I'll treasure it and be the envy of the gals here. Jaye already wanted to borrow it. Thank you also for all the letters to Beach. He's like a kid when he gets a letter. I don't mean that he yells or jumps around, but I can tell how happy it makes him. Thank you too for having him on the vacation trip. I didn't really realize how wound up he was getting until he came back. He's much more relaxed now, especially in the evenings. Sometimes we sit and play cards or chess. He's a very good chess player, although he's terrible at checkers.

Everyone loves the cookies. Beach said you have a baby cow. How very cute! I think cows are just adorable, I just want to hug them. The pictures you sent are adorable! Seeing Beach with a little kid hanging on him was priceless. Some of the guys are teasing him unmercifully about it but I know he enjoyed the time anyway. He'll get over the teasing.

Well, that's about it! I know you don't know me, but I did want to say thank you! Beach said you wanted a pic of me, so I included a picture taken of him and I. That's my Wolverine behind us. Don't mind him scowling, he always looks like that when he's on duty I think. He was irked that I got him to stand still long enough for Dusty to snap the picture of us. He always gets irritable when we're in desert situations. His body armor makes him hot and he gets sand in it which rubs raw spots especially on his shoulders and ribs.

Thank you again, maybe one day we'll get to meet somehow!

Courtney

* * * *

End Chapter


	4. Chapter 4

Glad people are enjoying this bit of fluff. There will be hints of upcoming fics in the letters on occasion. In this set, find out if Beach and CoverGirl managed to make up or not.

_Dear Wayne,_

_I hope that this finds your spat with Courtney over. These things happen in relationships and you'll have fights and make up. I'm sure that if you explain, she'll understand. You'll have to strike a balance where you aren't insulting to her but you can do your job too. I understand it's hard, but if relationships were easy, everyone would have one._

_I'm so glad that the cookies were well received. It was easy enough to bake up a few batches for you boys(and girls!). I'm glad you shared, even if it's only to prevent a mob scene. The letter from everyone was just precious, and you may pass on my deepest regrets that I won't be taking anyone up on their proposals, even the adoption request. I have enough family to care for, I'm certain a stray Navy SEAL would just add to the mayhem._

_I also hope you got good news on your leg. I know it must be driving you to distraction to not be 100%. Just try to be patient and you will heal up and be able to rush off to get hurt all over again._

_There's a lot to do with all this milk. I skim off the cream and use it to make butter. I make cheese from some of the skimmed milk. So from the milk I get milk, buttermilk, cream, butter, cheese, whey, yogurt, and cottage cheese and ricotta cheese too. Most of the cheeses take a long time to finish though. Yogurt is easy to make and fast. I made some custards as well. With fresh fruit I can practically live off just all the milk products! I'll ship you boys some of the fresh butter soon and yogurt too maybe._

_You have to learn to be patient with Courtney too. Sometimes it's best to stay quiet and think things through instead of shouting and fighting. I know it's hard. You seem very new to all this and it's confusing at the best of times, without all the extra complications you two have._

_She is very pretty indeed! Her note to me had a picture of you two in front of a tank in the desert. Seth said to tell you he's going to kick your butt for not going after her well before now. He says letting someone that gorgeous sit waiting is a sin. He's quite funny. Paddy said you're a lucky dog and you better get moving on her or she'll find some other guy instead. I'm so glad she likes the shawl. Perhaps when you FINALLY come back for another visit, she could come along as well. If she isn't busy with other things. Does she still model? I imagine lots of people would want her to._

_The calf is gone now. The new owner came and got him. The little boy goats also left. One is being castrated to be a pet, but I'm afraid the other one is meeting a more nefarious end in a stewpot. That's part of raising animals on a farm though. Sissy is doing very well though. And yes, they do show cows, just like dogs. The best cows are very valuable as breeding stock. With dairy cows they also count the amount of milk they produce as well._

_Nancy's box should arrive any day now to you. I'll bet you'll be well satisfied with the contents. It should be quite the pay off for doing some push-ups. I know she's upset it took so long._

_I put in a picture of Buster. The boys were so tickled at your quip that they went and got him a bright green collar. Of course, he's delighted at the attention. Scott is teaching him to sit up like that, he says he's doing doggy katas. Oh, Scott saw the picture of you and Courtney and said he needs more pictures of Courtney. I had to point out that you were in the picture actually. Perhaps you shouldn't bring her to visit after all? I think you'd have to beat up the boys for drooling over her. Or maybe she'd beat them up for drooling over her! She doesn't look like she has some good muscles on her, just like a farm girl!_

_I'm glad the photographs went over so well. Don't let those guys bother you. We are all very happy you came with Shana! We'd love more pictures from you, instead of Courtney sneaking us one measly picture. Picture me shaking a finger at you. Sallah wanted to send you the picture of her with her new blackbelt and the ribbon from the tournament. She didn't win first, but she was a credit to the dojo and her father is very proud of her. _

_Wayne, you just leave my ducks alone! If even one duck disappears, I'll call up Benning myself. No snipers firing on the ducks. I'll have to make them all little ducky bulletproof vests. Maybe it will slow them down and make them easier to catch when they get out. They find the smallest hole in the fence. I caught myself yelling at them yesterday that I'd just let Wayne come get all of them if they didn't behave. They didn't seem impressed by the threat, but don't take it personally. Do you ever go to Fort Benning? It's only a couple of hours drive away. Yes, that's a hint to you. _

_I'm going to have enough butter and yogurt made up to send you in a separate box. Perhaps that will get you out of the doghouse with your chef there. The yogurt is all plain so people can add in fresh fruit themselves. You just let me know how everyone likes it. Make sure it's all still cold when it arrives though! I'm packing it with dry ice._

_Kevin saw the picture and all he saw was you and the tank. Does Courtney really drive that huge thing? I have trouble backing up a minivan. I'd be terrible in something that size! He wanted to know if you would bring it with you next time you come visit. I told him no, but he insists that I ask you. _

_Well, time for me to go to the knitting circle. We go to the local tea house and have a social party and knit a little and gossip a lot. Tea and tasty things and sometimes we trade yarns and patterns. I hope you started that new scarf up._

_Please make sure you and Courtney make up. Even if you have to take the first step, you suck it up and be a big guy and tell her you're sorry first. Then you can discuss it like adults hopefully and work all the issues out. Just make sure you remember to look at it from her point of view too!_

_I'm hoping your leg is better too, make sure to update me!_

_Thinking of you often,_

_Aunt Beth._

_Dear Courtney,_

_Thank you for the note and especially for the picture. Even though we had a lot of pictures of Wayne from his visit, that's the first we've seen him 'at work'. He really does wear body armor! It's too bad he gets uncomfortable in it, but from the sound of his recent mission, it's a good thing that he wears it. _

_I'm so glad you like that shawl. It's not that hard to make. Get Wayne to teach you to knit, you could make your own, or make one for your friend Jaye. _

_Stay safe with all that you do, and know we're very proud of all of you soldiers._

_Beth_

_* * * *_

Dear Aunt Beth,

Yes, Courtney and I made up. I finally just ran her down and we talked and yelled and argued and finally we really _talked _about things. I told her that I couldn't slack off on her and why, that I'd rather her be safe than her be my girlfriend. Anyway.. it went okay if a bit loud, and we worked it out.

My CO now has the picture of me with June hanging on my back up on his wall. He was so taken with it, that he took it! He said it's the only picture he has of me without a mask on where I'm not scowling like a constipated gorilla. Sometimes he's pretty inventive in his descriptions. Of course, now half the guys are trying to call me a gorilla and such, so I'm back to busting heads. I told Shipwreck you called him a 'stray SEAL' and he showed me his dog tags and said that strays didn't wear ID tags. I guess he's right on that one!

Here's my good news. My leg did heal, enough that the Doc lets me do 'light duty' although I'm still on the crutches. I'm allowed to do some walking every day though, with Lifeline supervising me. Kind of silly to have the medic babysit me like I'm too stupid to understand the restrictions. But another week on the crutches and I get to go back to full duty, although no getting sent anywhere for a mission for another week after that. I'm beginning to itch because I haven't gone for a good run in forever. I don't count the treadmill running at all. It's just not the same.

Oh.. Doc thinks he's very clever. He won't let me wear my right combat boot. I have to just go with a sock on it. Then he says he can look at the sock and see if I've been using the leg when I'm not supposed to. Double pair of socks fixed that idea. Course, I didn't figure on mud seeping all the way through both socks either. Busted.

Nancy's box did arrive and she is one great cookie baker for sure. I think she sent a few hundred cookies. It was worth the wait, she sure pays off her bets properly. That box arrived and I think half the guys here followed it from the truck until the mail guy handed it off to me. I had to go open it in the messhall kitchen. Threatening to beat them with a chair got them off me long enough for me to get the letter out before the mob descended. I sent her a letter to say thank you already. I just turned the box over to Roadblock and told him that sharing them out was his problem. I did take a bag full out first, some with raisins and walnuts because those are my favorites and some chocolate ones with dried cherries for Courtney. She likes cherries and I hoped the dried cherries would please her too. I sat around with her in her room for half the evening talking. Well.. she talked and I mostly read my book. Once Jaye came in they started a lot of girl talk so I left. Do all women talk about all that.. stuff? You know.. girl stuff? They sure don't talk about all that in the rec room.

Oh.. the butter definitely got me back in Roadblock's good graces. Don't use dry ice anymore though. Dusty grabbed it out and made dry ice bombs and set off all our security alarms. He's on punishment duty for the next two weeks. And all the ladies were pleased with the yogurt. Not many of the guys were into the yogurt.. you know, it's yogurt. I tasted some and it was pretty good with some peaches sliced up in it. Good source of calcium and fat. No, I didn't mention the fat content to Courtney.. although I did point out the calcium was good for strong bones. I think I managed two entire conversations with her this week without her getting angry with me. Of course, yesterday she threw a wrench at me for saying she couldn't lift a deuce tire by herself. She was about to give herself a hernia. Even I think those tires are heavy.

In a few weeks I get to take a batch of fresh recruits up to toss them out of a plane. Been a while since I got to be a jump master. I shouldn't call them fresh recruits really, they're all experienced troops, we don't take on new guys. But none of them have jumped on a mission with any of our group and a few haven't ever jumped out of a plane so it'll be interesting. Last time I worked with a batch of newbies, I actually had to pick one guy up and pitch him out the door. Normally we wouldn't do that, we'd just fail him out, but he asked me to do it. He didn't want to fail but he just couldn't convince himself to jump out the door. So I just gave him a hand.. so to speak.

You tell those boys of Paddy's that I'm not sending another danged picture of MY girlfriend. Yeah, and that I'm not about to let them get at her no how. Of course, she'd take their hands off at the shoulder if they got too fresh with her. She's no shrinking violet. By the way, she wants a picture of the baby cow, even though I told her it was gone already. So if you have a picture, could you please send it so she'll stop bugging me? It's just a danged cow. She told me that she doesn't like to eat goat either. I told her that was fine, more for me to chow down on. She also thinks ducks are too cute to eat. But I guess that's just her. In Ranger school they taught us to eat anything and everything, and growing up I wasn't too picky on what I stuck in my mouth either. Ducks are tasty. How many did you say you used to have? Did you count them today? Heh. You'd better make them little ducky helmets too, because body armor won't stop a head shot. I'll bet you a box of cookies I could have one of my guys in and out with at least five of them ducks and you'd never know. Just kidding, I won't send a special ops force in to ducknap your waterfowl. Tempting though it might be. Them ducks aren't scared of me but only cause they ain't never met me. I'd eat a couple of them and they'd snap to real quick after that. I should just drop in one night and nab a couple. Put the fear of me into the whole flock.

Do you still milk your goats? Now that you have a cow giving 4 gallons of milk a day, I wouldn't think you'd still need goat milk too. Of course, I don't imagine you can make goat cheese without goat milk!

I showed the picture of Buster to SnakeEyes and he had a heck of a coughing fit laughing at him. He showed it to his apprentices and all of them had a big laugh out of it. They're all crazy. He said to tell Sallah that he's mightily impressed with her blackbelt. A couple of the guys saw it and I had to bust a couple of them on the track. They were all for looking her up, until I told them she was jailbait. I still made them run 20 miles, just on the principle of it.

I do end up at Benning on occasion. It's the Ranger stronghold, plus I was a lane instructor there for a couple years. I have to go there for work mainly. There is a Ranger Rendezvous held every couple years there too. I haven't been for a few years and my CO told me I was due to make a showing this year. Guess that means I'm going.

About driving a tank.. the thing you got to remember is, you're bigger than everything else on the road, so you have right-of-way. It's called "right-of-tonnage" and means you don't have to worry about backing up. If there's something in the way, one of our Maulers will just run right over it and squash it flat enough that you'll never do more than send the car to the scrap heap. Somehow I'm not allowed to drive the tanks out in civie areas anymore. I don't know why that is. I mean.. the Army paid for the cars.

Well I have to run, I'm setting up for a training mission for one of the others to run. I'm not allowed to go but I can certainly organize it and make sure it's all laid out. Tomorrow we're qualifying a whole group of troops on the big M2 .50cals. They are old models but we have several of them and they still work just fine. As long as they are in circulation, I'll make certain everyone is trained on them. Once I get done with the planning tonight, I'll go eat dinner(with Courtney!) and then Roadblock said he would finally let me back in the kitchen to try making that cinnamon bread again. Hopefully this time it don't fight back.

Wayne


	5. Chapter 5

_Dear Wayne,_

_I'm very happy to hear you and Courtney made up. Now try to do something nice for her so she knows you care about her. Your C.O. sounds like a good man even if he calls you a gorilla. And that doctor of yours is probably tearing his hair out trying to deal with you. Hopefully the rest of the team behaves when they get hurt. Considering everything you've done against doctor's orders(treadmill, need I say more?) I think you're lucky to have a intern assigned to keep tabs on you._

_I'm very glad that you finally did get the cookies to pay off that bet. I told you that Nancy wouldn't disappoint you. She's so pleased with your thank you note signed by all those young guys that she's now baking up a package each week to send to soldiers serving overseas. It's one of those 'any soldier' groups and she's just working her new oven to help out. I hope Courtney did like the dried cherries in the cookies. Cherries are very healthy._

_I'm afraid girls do talk a lot about "girl stuff". You'd probably do better to just make yourself scarce when they start up. And I won't send anymore dry ice and you make certain to tell that Mr Dusty that I'm quite disappointed in him for causing a ruckus with something I sent. You could mention that I felt guilty for sending the dry ice.. even though I really don't. Maybe he'll feel bad enough that he'll stay out of trouble for a while. I will send more butter since it was such a hit. I also sent a recipe for your chef friend to try out. It's for Coq au vin.. and make sure he doesn't use cooking wine in it. Honestly, I never use wine to cook with that I wouldn't drink. Good rule of thumb. _

_Please don't throw anyone out of a plane!! Honest to goodness I can never tell when you're joking. What if they got hurt? I know.. it's all part of being in the Army but gracious! Throwing people out of planes? Really? Does Courtney jump out of planes too?_

_I did put a picture of the calf in.. and also a few pictures of Sissy too. Yes, 4 whole gallons of milk every day! I also milk the goats of course. I'm glad at least I won't have to worry about Courtney trying to eat all my livestock. Now if I can just keep you from trying to eat all of them, I'll be set! Those ducks are all over the back pasture right now in fact._

_I don't think we have to worry much about young Sallah, she would probably twist those young men around her little finger and then kick them in the kneecaps. I think those brothers of hers are turning her into a dangerous little cat. She looks soft and fluffy but she's pointy on five of her six ends. Maybe if you get out to Benning and have some free time, we can visit again. Sallah said to make sure to tell you she's looking forward to your next visit and that she'll be practicing her high kicks so she can kick you in the head, just like her big sis Shana. I'm telling you, she's turning into a hellion. _

_I hope that the mission was a good one and that everyone passed with flying colors. And please be careful with those big guns. I think my .22 is quite enough firepower. I couldn't imagine what a .50 would be like. But teaching people to use all the equipment you have is always a good idea! Let me know how the bread came out. I just know you'll get it right! You behave and do as the doctor tells you._

_Beth _

_* * * *_

Dear Aunt Beth,

Roadblock(that's the chef) said to let you know he thinks it's a grand recipe. My Co totally vetoed it when he found out it's chicken with wine. He said the last thing he needed was the whole team drunk from chicken. Roadblock convinced him that it would be fine.. something about the wine not being something you can go getting drunk off of once it's cooked. I'm not sure about all that but it sure was some tasty chicken.

Courtney liked the pictures of the cow.. she started saying maybe we shouldn't eat any cows if they are all that cute. I pointed out she wouldn't be able to have any burgers or steaks. That sort of went bad quickly. I'm not sure why. About that whole girl talk thing, I usually try to just leave if they start up. Sometimes if I show up when there's two of them chattering at each other they suddenly clam up because they've been talking about one of us guys. SnakeEyes said that they talk about us a lot. I think he's being ridiculous. What would they have to say? Crazy. Roadblock said that he'll look into getting a wholesale delivery of duck so we can have roasted duck. So if those escaping ducks of yours seem to go missing, you know what happened.

Courtney actually dislikes jumping out of planes. She said that she prefers when the plane lands on the ground and she can disembark without spilling her drink. She's not very adventurous that way. Give her a ground unit to drive and she's all over it though. We've been eating together in the messhall when we can, although I have to work through lunch more often than not. Since my leg is cleared for duty, soon I'll probably be on and off base all the time, so our lunches will be even more rare. Part of the life.

I'm going to have to cut this short, I have to go pack chutes for that upcoming jump in two weeks. Doc has promised me that my leg will be cleared for the jump, so I'm happy about that. I'm back to running PT although I still favor that leg a bit when I'm running. Just a bit of a twinge if I put too much stress on it. Give it another week of working and it'll be right.

Thanks again,

Wayne

p.s. Dusty said to tell you he's real sorry and he'd rather have a extra two weeks of KP duty than have you mad at him. I told him if he felt that bad he should do some extra guard duty too. So he's guarding a can of brussel sprouts all day. He's feeling pretty sorry for himself now. Maybe he'll think twice before setting off dry ice bombs again. Most likely not, but I can always hope.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey all.. another set of letters. This set would be the last letters sent between them before the fic "Falling for You".

Please enjoy and thanks so much for the reviews and the encouragement. My laptop has been wiped and is being reloaded with the OS. Hopefully soon I'll be back up and running.

* * * *

_Dear Wayne,_

_I hope that your parachuting goes well. Please be careful and make sure all those parachutes are okay before you go throwing anyone out of the planes. I'm glad that at least Courtney seems sensible enough to not want to jump out of planes. I just can't imagine how that would seem like a good idea. I know, I know.. goes with the job._

_If Mr Roadblock does a duck recipe in bulk for all you boys at the base, I'd like the recipe. It's hard to roast ducks properly for a crowd. Speaking of ducks, you'll be happy to hear that all the ducks are in their pen and have stayed there for an entire week. Not one escape._

_Sissy on the other hand managed to knock down a few fence boards and got into the garden. She finished off the cabbages the ducks didn't eat. I'm worried the milk will taste off for a day or so from her eating the cabbages. We'll just have to see. I have some cheeses working and hopefully soon I'll have some to send for you to taste! The goat cheeses are nearly ripened, but I'll just send a package all at once. Seth came over and fixed the fence for me and he took a lot of butter and milk with him. He also took my extra rooster. Something about Paddy wanting a rooster crowing in the mornings. My rooster was beating this other one up anyway, so it was best that he find a new home. _

_Let Dusty know that I'm not angry with him. The poor boy.. why is he guarding a can of vegetables? Is that some sort of odd punishment you've thought up just to torment him? That's rather mean, Wayne. You should be nicer, isn't Dusty the young man who helped you out when you were on crutches? And you should be taking it easy on that leg, not pushing harder and running on it. I imagine if you re-injure it, there won't be any jumping out of planes for you!_

_I'm sorry to hear that you're not getting to eat meals with Courtney. That's too bad. Hopefully your schedule changes soon so you can spend more time with her._

_I'm working on a couple afghans to give to the church bazaar for a fund-raising auction. I finished the blue and white one already. The second will be rainbow colors in rings. It should be very striking so hopefully it will bring a lot of money in for the charity. Are you still knitting as well? I hope so. Did you ever get around to darning SnakeEyes's sweater?_

_Well it's time to go milk the goats and Sissy. I hope to hear from you soon._

_Beth_

_* * * * _

Dear Aunt Beth,

Good news! My leg is cleared so I can make the training jump. I know you probably think we're all crazy, what with wanting to jump out of planes. Did you know? Snake Eyes doesn't care for parachuting either? For all of it he ends up doing, he just would prefer not to need to. Strange. I know I like it a lot. Even better is getting to supervise a jump with new folks. I spent this week getting them all familiar with the harnesses and packs and how to jump out of the door and how to land on the ground. Basically everything but the part where you're falling through the air at 30,000 feet. I make them jump off of platforms onto the ground in full gear so they learn how to land hard without breaking their legs. Private Williams broke his ankle first thing though, so he won't get to go on the jump. He's pretty disappointed about it, but then, he shouldn't have been so careless when he jumped off the platform. It's only a ten foot fall, that should have been easy.

The big jump is just a couple days off. Courtney wasn't going, since she already has a few jumps under her belt. But she volunteered to be part of the flight crew and communications. That way she'll be along for the ride. She won't jump out of the plane though. She'll stay on board and monitor the jump that way. Flint is in charge over-all. He's always placing himself in charge but he rarely does the actual jumps or whatever. He is pretty good at organizing all the stuff we'll need. I hate all the paperwork I end up having to do so any part that I don't have to do makes me happier.

Don't feel too sorry for that danged trouble-maker Dusty. He somehow managed to lose the can of Brussel sprouts, so now he's got to guard a log. Since he lost track of the can of Brussel sprouts, I chained his ankle to the log. It's about five foot long and weighs about a hundred pounds. I doubt he'll lose it. I told him if he does, I'll chain him to Flint. See if he can manage to lose that warrant officer for me. Of course, Flint overheard that part so now I'm in trouble too. I get to scrub the motorpool floors out tomorrow morning after PT. I got half of them done this afternoon already though. A good floorbrush and some detergent powder and a lot of elbow grease on my hands and knees took care of it. I just plain ran out of time before I had to go get dinner. I'm on night shift tonight. Duke was supposed to be on tonight, but he's got a nasty headache and came by the motorpool and told me I was on. He said the headache was my fault so I might as well take his shift to make up for it. He also said that if I have another argument with Flint, he's scrubbing the training jump. It's not fair but I guess he's the C.O. so he get to say what happens. I'm keeping my head low.. at least until AFTER the jump.

I did get to sit with Courtney for dinner, but I got there late.. so it wasn't very long. She was kind of miffed at me for some reason. She said that I'm insensitive because I didn't get all sniffly over the movie they were all watching. It's just a movie. So we basically just said hi and then after a few minutes she left to go do something. I hope she gets over being mad at me soon. I took her up to the top of our climbing tower the other night to show her how nice the view is of the stars up there. I think she liked that, I know I did. Then she pushed me off.

You should remind Sissy the cow that even though she gives a bunch of milk, she could still make some darned tasty steaks. Maybe she'll stay inside her fence then. It's good that those ducks are staying inside the cage, that'll make it easier to steal them when I get hungry. Roadblock said to tell you he's going to roast the ducks with oranges. Or maybe it was stuffed with oranges or.. with orange juice. I forget. It definitely has oranges though. I know because one of the greenies had KP duty and we found out he's allergic to oranges when his eyes swelled shut. Poor guy is still walking around like the undead from all the medication Lifeline had to give him.

If you ever want a real gun instead of that pea-shooter of a .22, you just tell me. I'll hook you up with a real gun that will make mincemeat out of anything you point it at. I'm sure that .22 is okay if all you want to shoot is the occasional loose duck though. The rule for us Rangers is "Never go to battle with a gun that don't start with the number 4". I carry a .45 most of the time. Courtney favors a 9mm pistol. She says it holds more shots, and I tell her if she had a .45 she'd only need one shot to get the job done. Most of the guys carry 9mm pistols too though. Having been shot by both calibers, I'd say the .45 is a heck of a lot better. I kept going with a couple rounds from a 9mm in me. The one time I got hit by a .45 round, it knocked me on my behind and I got to admit, I stayed down. Wouldn't have been so bad, but it was one of my teammates what shot me! I'll be the first to say 'friendly fire, isn't very friendly'. It's okay though, he said he was sorry.

Well I have to go do a patrol around the base and check on everything. Then it's back to do some more reports and write up the flight plan for the jump. I'll let you know how it goes! It should be really routine, just everyone jumps and pulls the chutes and lands. No big deal. It'd be boring if I wasn't such a Airborne Ranger at heart! Getting to do it over Benning is great too. Maybe I'll get to show Courtney the firing lanes. They have a real nice set-up there, we just don't have the space here to do the same thing.

Talk soon.. and tell Sallah she's welcome to try kicking me in the head, but I get to spank her when she fails.

Wayne

* * * *

End chapter

Next set of letters will be set AFTER the fic Falling for You. Poor Beach sounds so excited about that jump. Too bad it doesn't turn out to be quite as routine as he'd planned.


	7. Chapter 7

Set AFTER the fic Falling for You.

* * * *

_Dear Wayne,_

_I hope this letter finds you back 'home' and healing up. Also I hope you're being sensible enough to rest up instead of trying to over-do it. I'm sorry I wasn't able to stay longer to visit, but you seemed to be in good hands. Courtney is a very lovely young woman and I'm glad I got to meet her. Jaye seems like a very nice woman also, she is the one who bought the yarn for you, right? I'm sure that Officer Flint has good qualities, but I can see why you two don't get along. It was like cats and dogs in that room._

_Once I got home I found all the ducks loose, all the chickens loose and both goats on my front porch. Apparently Sean came to check on everything and decided to go ahead and feed all my animals. That was nice of him but he forgot to latch the doors and gates properly. So everything was loose except Sissy. Luckily there wasn't much damage except to my poor flowers along the porch which the goats ate. I'll have to replace all of those. I think I'm missing a few hens and possibly a few ducks as well. You didn't send those special force guys of yours down here, did you? I'll be very cross should I find a combat boot print in the mud around my duckpen! I'm joking of course, I know you wouldn't have sent duck-nappers._

_Other than that, most of the past week has been uneventful. There's been a bit of shopping for Christmas and I have my decorations up. Paddy has the house decked out and he's already getting calls from everyone confirming they are coming into town. It'll be a huge gathering like most years. It's a pity you won't make it, we always have a great deal of fun. Shall I mention that there'll be pie? A great deal of homemade pie?_

_Is it cold out there where you are? I imagine it must be. Hopefully the walls of your buildings are thick so no wind gets in. Drafts in the winter can just make things miserable. Do you have houses like on Benning or barracks to stay in? Or how does that work? I know you mentioned Courtney's room before.. do you all have your own rooms? That would be nice. _

_The cheeses are doing very well and hopefully soon they'll be ready. Of course the hard cheeses take much longer. No cheddar for quite some time. I think I need a few more cheese presses so that I don't have to wait between pressings._

_Sallah, Seth and Scott all say hello. They went shopping with me and now we're over here packing up some presents to mail to folks that will be too far away or too busy to come for the holidays. Seth said to tell you that he thinks Courtney is the most gorgeous woman ever and if you're too dimwitted to go after her, he'll gladly take his chances himself. Scott says you'll probably come to visit just to beat Seth up now. Sallah says she isn't ALL that pretty, although when she saw the picture she got pretty mad and said she couldn't compete with that, no matter how old she got. I think you've finally managed to shake Sallah loose from your trail. Now you'll just have to worry that she'll want to give you dating advice. Paddy told me to let you know, next visit you make here, he'd like to go shooting with you and the boys._

_Again, I hope you're healing up without too many complications and that Courtney and you are getting along well without any fights or squabbles. Those things do happen but the trick is to have them short and infrequently. I hated to hear that you'd been injured, especially during the parachuting jump that you'd been looking forward to so much. Maybe next time will go better._

_Thinking of you,_

_Beth_

_* * * *_

Dear Aunt Beth,

Like last time, I am FINE. I'm tougher than you think. It wasn't more than a day or two and I was up walking. Actually.. I was up walking later that day you visited.. although they did eventually run me down and strap me to the bed. Let me tell you, laying there strapped to a bed for two days is NO FUN. It was just about the most boring time I'd had in quite a while. Since the last time I was strapped to a bed by a doctor in fact.

I would have written you a letter in the hospital, but they wouldn't give me a pen, on account of the last time I was in Martin Hospital on Benning, I stabbed an intern in his knee with a tongue depressor. Apparently they take that personal and so I wasn't allowed to have a pen to write with. And a spiral notebook was RIGHT OUT. One of the nurses said if I was really really good, she'd let me have a crayon and a single sheet of paper... under supervision. But the head nurse vetoed that idea, mainly because for me to be able to write, they'd have to un-do the straps. Since they didn't want to chase me again, they said no.

Courtney has been awfully nice to me, I think she still feels guilty that I got hurt saving her. We sat outside under the A-frame on my PT course and talked for almost an hour while the medic was looking for me. I told her that it wasn't her fault I got hurt and that I was just really glad I could save her. It was a close thing. I also told her she was pretty impressive what with dragging my big old self out on her own that way. She's pretty strong for her size. About then the medic found us and dragged me back to the infirmary. Rather.. he had a couple of the bigger guys drag me, he's too little.

Because I'm still on the injured list, I'm sitting behind a desk. Duke was going to just put me on medical leave, but Doc said I'd get into less trouble if I was on desk duty, so here I am. He did say that if I'm good and heal fast, I should be back on regular duty by next week. Duke also said that he'll be sending me with a cargo to Fort Benning and back. It'll be a long drive, probably boring. Better than desk work.

That's too bad that Sean let all the animals out. You'd think he'd check the latches better than that. Did you find the missing chickens and ducks? Wasn't my guys, especially if you find any boot prints. My guys wouldn't leave any sign at all. Rangers are good at being sneaky. Not as good as SnakeEyes, but pretty good.

I'm sorry I can't make it out for Christmas. It's kind of mean to go taunting me with pie though. Honestly I'm not really a holiday person. In the Army, most of the guys all go home if they can. So there's just a few skeleton crew on base, and Roadblock tries to leave some good dishes for those of us that do stay here, and sometimes some of the guys will get some packages and share stuff out. Usually someone will insist on watching Christmas movies and that's just about it. Courtney loves holidays, and come to think of it.. just about every Christmas she manages to give me something or other. Normally she just says she picked it up while she was out shopping for someone else.. but I kind of think she looks for something for me. Even if that's not true, it still makes me feel good to think it might be true. Lifeline and I always exchange socks for Christmas. I guess it started out as a sort of joke and we just do it every year. Lifeline is our medic, you'd like him. He's not a big guy but tough as nails. He's a pacifist too. Don't that beat all? An Army medic pacifist. Took me a while to get used to that, let me tell you!

Our base doesn't have any drafts. It's really solid, you could say. Most of the rooms stay kind of chilly though. Most of the senior members of the team have two- or three-man rooms. Then we have a couple barracks of ten men in each. Plus some other barracks for the greenies and support personnel. I share a room with a roommate, but since he's always on night shift, it's almost like having a private room. Courtney shares a room with two other women. Well.. it's got three tiny bedrooms attached to a little center room. I think originally it was supposed to be private offices with a reception area.. but something got changed around. The offices are on another floor entirely now. So they each have a bedroom, which is a luxury on our base! SnakeEyes has a room to himself too, I think mainly on account of his facial scarring, you know. Then the COs have private rooms.. that's only the top two of them though. So I guess that should answer your question.

Scott is right, I'll have to beat up on Seth next time I see him and I'm not laid up. I knew he shouldn't have laid eyes on Courtney. She is really beautiful though, isn't she? Still don't know why she'd be interested in a beat-up guy like me with a crooked nose. It's not that I want to fight with her, but she just starts up about something, then I don't agree with it, and next thing you know, we're going at it like cats and dogs.

I'm glad that Sallah is finally convinced that I'm not the guy for her. I could probably use the dating advice, even from a fourteen-year-old. I'd like to go shooting with Paddy and the boys, but they'll have to be a lot safer about guns than those boys were. No gun handling sense at all. Maybe it's from being a lane instructor on the gun ranges, but mishandling weapons makes me nervous.

Well, here I go, rambling on again. It's because I'm bored with this deskwork. I did all the paperwork and wrote up all the reports and even wrote up all the schedules for the next week. Now I'm sort of sitting and waiting for the hourly check-ins and 'making myself available' for any issues that come up during my shift. Flint is awfully happy about me having desk duty because it gives him time off. You know, he's not a bad soldier, we just butt heads a lot.

Here comes Dusty with another stack of reports. I sent him around to collect them all up since he's assigned to the offices too. He's finally off punishment duty. Right now he wants me to tell you hello from him and that he won't get into any more trouble just for you. I'll expect him to keep that promise for at least a day. Less if he gets his head together with Shipwreck.

Another hour and I go off-shift. I have to report to medical for a check, then I'll go see if Courtney wants to have dinner or if we're fighting again. It's always good to hear from you, getting letters is great. I guess I missed getting letters more than I admitted. I certainly write a lot in these things back to you. I hope they aren't too long. If they are, just let me know, and I'll write shorter ones.

BeachHead


	8. Chapter 8

Another set of letters...

_* * * *_

_Dear Wayne, _

_Somehow I knew you wouldn't behave in the hospital. At least the doctors there know how to deal with uncooperative patients. Now that you're back at your home base, I'd hoped you would try to take it easy, but at least they put you on desk duty. I agree with your doctor that it might keep you out of trouble some. Speaking of trouble, tell Dusty I'm hoping he held to that promise and hasn't gotten into any new trouble._

_It's wonderful that Courtney and you got to sit and chat for a while, I won't even bother commenting on hiding from your doctor. Sigh. Will she be on base for Christmas or will she be gone too? I know I should hope she gets to go home for the holidays, but I can't help but wish she would stay with you instead. If so, maybe you'll have a good holiday anyway. I'll send you a box in the next day or so, so make sure to keep an eye out for a package._

_Your medic friend sounds like quite the conundrum. How does he get along with the other soldiers if he doesn't fight? He must be very good at his job._

_The base sounds like it's a comfortable place. Don't you start threatening to beat up young Seth. You don't have any reason to be jealous of him after all, it's not as if he's going to actually try to steal Courtney from you. And frankly from meeting her, I doubt anyone could turn her head from you. Stop running yourself down, you're obviously desirable to her, and that's what matters. No one would hold a broken nose against you, and as far as scars, obviously it doesn't detract any of Shana's love for SnakeEyes, so I doubt it's a concern for Courtney. I know it seems like you two fight a lot, but having a relationship isn't easy or simple, it's a lot of work. But it's worth it. Sometimes you just have to stop and count to ten so that you don't just respond without thinking it through._

_Two of the missing chickens did show up. A bit bedraggled but intact. They are back in the pen happily eating up corn. So only one chicken and three ducks are missing. I'm afraid they probably were eaten by raccoons or coyotes or possibly some of the neighborhood dogs, or just maybe some hungry Rangers in the flowerbeds.. just kidding of course. I dug up the flowerbeds and in the spring I'll be able to plant new flowers and plants. _

_I'm sorry if I was taunting you with pie. I was merely joking with you, but to make it up to you, I'm going to ship you some. Keep Mr Dusty away from the dry ice, I asked the local food place about shipping with regular ice and they didn't recommend it at all. So I hope it's okay that I use it again. The pies will be frozen and you can just put them into the oven according to the instructions I put with them. Make sure you don't forget them in the oven and let them burn though.. and set the oven for the right temperature. Don't try to make them bake faster by using a higher temperature! You'll just burn them._

_Long letters are wonderful! I love to hear about what you've been up to, as much as you're allowed to tell me of course. I'm very glad that you enjoy getting letters. I think everyone does, it's like getting a surprise visit almost! Sallah and Seth are both over here also, and Seth said not to beat him up, he won't even think about Courtney. Sallah said she bets she could beat up Courtney.. but don't worry, I told her there'll be none of that. Also, Courtney might be very pretty but I'll bet she's quite capable of trouncing young Sallah. _

_Speaking of your girl, have you gotten her present yet for Christmas? You should think about what she likes best.. and get her a present with that in mind. That way she'll really like it and know you put a lot of thought into it. Don't wait to the last minute, that's just a recipe for stress. _

_The box I'm sending will have some more butter, cheese,but no cheddar cheese, it's not ready. There's also some goat cheese I just got ready. Of course, there's also the pies and some other baked goods. Can't have my favorite big bad Army Ranger going without tasty things for Christmas. Try not to stab yourself cutting the pie or anything else disastrous! I hope you're already healing up well and staying out of trouble._

_All my love,_

_Beth_

_p.s. Paddy just called to let me know he found a old revolver he'd like to send you to see if it's salvageable. If it's okay for him to ship that to you, please let us know._

_* * * * _

Dear Aunt Beth,

I hope your Christmas was good. We had a quiet holiday here. Courtney did stay here for the actual holiday and then left afterwards for a couple of days. The skeleton crew had a pretty good meal and Courtney and I sat on the couch in the rec room and watched It's a Wonderful Life. She thinks it's a great movie but I'm always bored during it. I did get her present a few weeks ago, it's a radiator for her 64 GTO car. I couldn't wrap it or nothing, but she liked it just the same.

I got that second box too. Pretty sneaky of you to go and send me a present. I like the quilt, it's thick and warm. I thought Ship would make some smart comment about it, but he just said it looked nice. It's on my bunk and it's better than two of the regular blankets. Courtney said it's got more shades of green than she knew existed. If you back off and look at it, it's almost like camouflage.

I'm doing fine. Back in shape, although I'm still feeling like I need to stretch out on my morning runs. It'll take a few weeks to get back up to snuff overall. Dusty has been keeping his head low and staying out of trouble. The greenies on the other hand are all busy picking up litter with tweezers and Mouth is prohibited from talking at all for any reason. He's now picking up all the acorns from under the big trees next to the motorpool.. and he's got to use chopsticks and put each one into a garbage bin for me. I swear I'll break that boy if he doesn't straighten up.

Courtney and I had lunch outside, it went well. We haven't been fighting much.. well.. except for when I said her car was blocky and she tried to kill me. But that wasn't a very long fight, I'm stronger than she is so I could keep from losing a kneecap or anything serious. She is pretty good at hand-to-hand though, so I wouldn't recommend Sallah try to jump her. Having two ladies willing to cat-fight over me is kind of cool though. Not that I want them to go cat-fighting. But if they were to go on and do it all on their own I mean.. well.

The package you sent was just peachy! Everyone loved the butter and Jaye said to tell you the goat cheese was the best she's tried. I thought it was pretty tasty. The cookies and that cherry cake was downright sinful. I'm including the latest pages of thank you's from us skeleton crew what got left behind. Dusty said that he wishes he'd gotten assigned here for the holiday but I know he loves going home whenever he can. Private Williams was here and he said to tell you 'thank you' especially from him, the candied walnuts were his favorite and he said he hadn't gotten to taste any in years.

I'm sure glad at least a couple chickens came back. I think you're better off with fewer ducks. Pretty sure it wasn't any of my Ranger friends, they would have cleared you out of all the ducks, not just taken a few. Hopefully Sean learned to latch the doors properly now. Will you get more ducks? Or do you still have plenty? I see roadrunners when I run early in the morning, and I think they look sort of like skinny chickens. Maybe I should run a couple down and ship them to you. I'll be those Georgia raccoons wouldn't be catching those.

Courtney said to send you some pictures, so I let her take a few here at base. Should be one of both of us sitting on the couch in the rec room and also a picture of her GTO she's working on. She got a shot of the greenies on the PT course.. I'm standing to one side yelling at Mouth. He's the foot you can see under that razor wire crawl. He was slacking off and not putting out a lot of effort, still mad about not getting to talk any until I tell him he can. I'm all covered in mud by the way.. my clothing isn't normally brown. Williams got hung up on the wire and I had to crawl under to yank him loose. If it's not the danged medic, it's him getting tangled in that wire. Sooner or later you'd think they'd learn how to work around it. Then there's a shot of Shana, Jaye and Courtney all goofing off sometime or other. I'm not much for having my picture taken, so there just isn't many of me.

Lifeline gets along really well with most of the team. He's more than proven himself by saving half the team at some time or another. We know he'll do his best to save us if he's able.

Don't worry, I wouldn't beat up Seth. Well, unless he did something really stupid. Tell Paddy he can send that revolver, just send it in two packages. Put the barrel in one and the rest in the other, without any ammunition. Then it'll be fine and I'll have a look at it in my spare time.

Courtney helped me watch the pie in the oven. I told her I was more than capable of baking a pie, but she still sat around in the kitchen and waited with me. I would have left and just come back when it was supposed to be done but then.. there's a lot of folks around here that would stoop to stealing a good pie. So we stayed there. It was just about as tasty as the pies at thanksgiving were. I told Courtney that I helped make pies then, but she didn't really believe me I don't think.

Right now, I'm planning the drive to Fort Benning. I'll be taking one of our heavy trucks with the classified load and hauling some odds and ends back afterwards. I suspected there was something afoot when Duke said he wanted me doing this. I got way more important things to be doing than driving a truck like a grunt Private. Turns out there's this SEAL who is coming in for some instruction on new equipment, and last time he was here, let's just say he and I didn't see eye to eye. In fact, I sort of punched him in the eye. So Duke is going to make me drive a truck halfway across the country just to get me out of the way so I don't get into a fight with this guy again. Kind of silly. I found out that Courtney is assigned as my co-driver, so we'll have the whole drive to try not to fight. She's a wild driver, so hopefully I'll survive the trip without getting an ulcer. I'd say I'll come visit, since I'll be within a couple hours, but I can't do it. Driving there and back, and that's it. Sorry. I'd like to drop by and nab a few ducks.

Well, I'm out for the night, just about twenty minutes and I'm off to bed. Hope all is well with you and the rest of the O'Haras.

Wayne

_* * * *_

End Chapter

Next up... a fic about the road trip to Fort Benning.


	9. Chapter 9

Now that they're back from their road trip, Beach has a letter waiting for him and needs to report in to let Aunt Beth know how things are going. We all knew he'd have to get some advice after that crazy drive!

_0 0 0 0 0_

_Dear Wayne,_

_I am so glad that you had a good holiday. It's even better that you got to spend it with Courtney. I'm really trying not to want to hit you over the head about buying her a radiator for Christmas. Really Wayne? Couldn't you find her something pretty? No help for it now, but perhaps you should get her something she will like now, just to make up for it?_

_I'm very glad you like the quilt. Of course I'd send you a present, it's Christmas! I like to quilt when I have time and I thought that a good sturdy quilt would hold up better to you beating it up than a knitted blanket would. I happen to know how hard young men can be on blankets, what with forgetting to take off boots before propping your feet on the bed, and dragging it around to wash it, instead of using a laundry basket. Jack ruined two perfectly good knitted blankets before I just made him a denim quilt. He once closed one in the car door and dragged it down ten miles of highway before he realized it. I'm telling you, he's a smart young man but sometimes he does some very silly things at times._

_I hope your men are staying out of trouble. It sounds like they get into trouble whenever they are bored, so maybe they need some useful activities to do? I'm sure there are community projects in your area that could use a few strong backs. Perhaps a local church could use some maintenance work?_

_It sounds as if you and Courtney are doing fine when you can keep from insulting her. It's not very nice of her to try to break your kneecap though. She must have learned her discussion techniques from you. You both do know you can argue without violence, right?_

_I'm very glad the package went over so well. The notes were so sweet, such a nice lot of boys there! Please thank them from me. I will send more care packages. It's not hard to make extra when I bake. I'm glad that the pie baked up well for you and it's very nice of Courtney to help you. I'm sure that no one would have stolen it, but I hear that ninjas love pie, so perhaps it's a good thing you guarded it! I did love the photos that you sent. The boys really loved the one of Shana, Courtney and Jaye. They look like they were enjoying themselves wherever they were. Scott said he thinks it looks like Ladies Night Out in Mexico. Scott also said that it's highly unfair that you have three beautiful women serving with you. You certainly are muddy in the other picture!_

_I won't need to replace the missing ducks. I still have plenty left. I'm not sure that roadrunners would like living here in Georgia. It's awfully wet and they like deserts. So I think you'd better just let them run around there. I hope that your road trip goes well. That's a lot of time for you and Courtney to spend together, so hopefully you won't fight too much. You shouldn't complain about being sent off on a trip if the reason you're being sent is you got into trouble the last time the seal was there. That's your own fault for getting into fights instead of solving your problems without violence._

_The boys are doing fine. Scott and Sean have been busier than ever with the dojo. Seth however is off with a broken wrist. He tried to do one of SnakeEyes' infamous spinning jump kicks and managed to hang his ankle on the practice dummy and fell badly. He tried to say he was fine, but Paddy took one look at his arm and sent him off to the ER. Sure enough, he'd broken three of the little bones. It will heal up if he does what the doctor tells him. Unlike certain other people I could mention, he will obey doctor's orders. Yes, that's a hint._

_The goats have been giving a lot of extra milk, so I had to start giving some away to a few people who like goat milk. The goat cheese I have setting is doing very well, and the hard cheeses are beginning to turn. It certainly seems to take a long time to make some of the hard cheeses like cheddar! Especially when you want to taste them right away! But I'm being patient. Sean did come over and help with the garden day before yesterday. We spent all day tearing out weeds and setting out some seedlings. I have a lot of vegetables growing now, and it takes a couple of hours a day just to make sure I've weeded, watered and fertilized everything. In another few weeks though, I'll only have to check for weeds and set the soaker hoses on a timer. Fresh vegetables are always worth the work though. I already have potatoes coming up._

_It's too bad you won't be able to drop by, we'd love to see you again. I understand duty though, and you can't exactly go AWOL just to have a slice of pie and visit. Besides, I'd have to spend the entire next day counting my ducks to make certain you didn't duck-nap some of them!_

_All my love,_

_Beth._

0 0 0 0

Dear Aunt Beth,

Sorry for the delay, I was on that road trip to Benning. That was quite a trial. But I think some good came of it, since I got a date with Courtney now. Before you ask, yes, it's a real date, going out to eat in town at an actual restaurant and everything. As long as she don't come to her senses and back out, I guess.

We did fight a lot on the trip, and she pulled some really nasty tricks on me. She pretended to drive into a semitruck head on just to scare me out of sleep, and then thought it was funny. I was ready to beat her, I was that mad. She can get on my bad side faster than anyone else I know. She harassed me over every little thing, and because she sprained her ankle at Benning, I had to do all the driving on the first leg back. Since it was just me driving, we had to stop overnight at a motel, and that just didn't go all that well either. Well.. except for the mugger. That went just peachy. But we did end up having a pretty lengthy talk about stuff, so maybe it'll go a bit smoother now. I sure ain't holding my breath none though.

It sounds like food central over there at your place. I'm really regretting not being able to stop over, what with all the talk of fresh milk, cheese, vegetables and baked goods. My idea of heaven. Well, if you'd let me knock a few critters in the head to go on the plate with all the rest of the food, then it'd be heaven. How many goats do you have extra? Is Sissy cow still giving you lots of milk too? When does she run out? Do cows run out of milk?

Courtney liked her Christmas present a lot. She said it was perfect. Why isn't a radiator a good present? You said to get her something she would really like.. and it was shiny and everything. She fussed over it a lot and did a lot of hugging on me about it. I'd say that there was proof it was a good choice. Am I supposed to go buying her things even when it ain't her birthday? I mean.. other than Christmas, obviously. This civilian guy said I should get her flowers, but she doesn't like flowers. She told me she doesn't like flowers and I'm afraid if I go getting her some anyway, she'll think I didn't listen when she said it. That's a major complaint from her, that I don't listen. I do listen though. She just don't make sense. I try to figure out what she's trying to tell me, but sometimes.. it's just gibberish to me. At one point she had me about to just jump out of the truck I was so mad, because she just didn't make NO kind of sense. And then suddenly she was all happy with me, because I was mad? But she thought I was mad because SHE was upset.. when I was mad because she don't never make any kind of sense. But I let her think it was her reasoning, because that seemed to make her happy with me. Is that wrong? Because it's kind of like lying to her, that I let her think I wasn't mad at her being crazy. I'd rather she be happy with me though, even if it's on a mistaken assumption on her part. Maybe that's wrong though. I don't know, this stuff is making my head ache. I should go borrow a bottle of aspirin from Duke.

I guess her and I do end up being violent on occasion, but I think that's partly because of our training. She knows she can swing a punch at me and I'll probably block it. So it's okay for her to take a swing at me on occasion since it's not too likely she's actually going to hurt me. Kind of how she likes to punch me in the chest when I'm wearing my body armor. It's not going to hurt me much, so I don't mind too much. As long as she's not disrespecting me while she's doing it, I can take some whacking around on her part. When she starts going for my nose or my kneecaps, I get a little nervous. I kind of like not limping, it's a personal preference you could say. Generally I stay hands off of her though. Beating up women ain't in my nature. Of course, in training, I'll beat them down all day long, but that's training. That's to make sure they won't get themselves killed in combat against guys who won't hesitate to fight them, women or not.

Tell Seth to let that wrist heal up properly. Yes, I'm aware that's rather hypocritical of me to tell him that, but then I know my body and what sort of strain I can put it under. He's young and a fracture that doesn't heal right in a young bone won't be right later on.

I got to run, almost time to get ready for my afternoon shift. My shifts are all kinds of messed up this week, on account of me being gone to Benning for 4 days and then I asked for a day off so I can go into town for my date with Courtney. Flint has given me heck over that day off, like he suspects something might be going on. I ain't said nothing to him though, so it's probably just Flint being a jerk because he can. Shoot, I just remembered I was supposed to drop by the infirmary to get the stitches checked on my elbow too. Now I'll be running late if Doc decides to yell at me.

Thanks for the letters!

Wayne

0 0 0 0 0

Annd... that's it for now. Poor Beach.. poor Aunt Beth trying to sort out what's going on between Courtney and him. Poor ducks, living under the constant threat of being eaten. Thanks for reading! Feel free to review or message!


	10. Chapter 10

_Dear Wayne,_

_You and Courtney have a date! That's wonderful! Did you already go out? Was it to a nice restaurant? Now be honest, did she have to twist your arm or did you voluntarily ask her out? Sallah wants to know if you'll wear the new nice clothing, and also said if you dare go out on the town in your regular army fatigues she'll be very disappointed in you. It sounds like the two of you did have a lot of time to talk, even if you did a lot of squabbling as well. I would hope that you wouldn't beat Courtney. Abusive relationships are nothing to joke about, Wayne. Courtney shouldn't be trying to hit you either, except while training of course. _

_What mugger are you talking about? Is that how you ended up with stitches? Sometimes I really think you say things just to get me worked up. What happened? Is Courtney okay? Did the mugger hurt you and that's how you got stitches in your elbow? Are you okay?_

_Seth is behaving and honestly he's even milking his injury a bit for sympathy. The young ladies in the karate classes do a lot of fussing over him, which he encourages. Sallah came to help with the deskwork, and Dan has helped with any physically demanding cleaning or moving things around, after he gets off work. It's wonderful the way everyone pulls together. All of them have given poor Seth heck too. Since he was show-boating when he got hurt, the only sympathy he does get is from some of the girls._

_Oh you would love dinner here! I've been getting fresh greens, string beans, squash, potatoes, turnips and corn. There's nothing like an ear of corn when you pick it, shuck it and drop it right into boiling water! Once it's sitting around in a grocery store all the natural sugars start turning into starch. It's just not the same!_

_Well, if Courtney really liked the radiator, then I guess it's a good present. Yes, you should get her presents for no reason too. That's something girls like. Maybe she would like a plant instead of flowers? You are correct about listening. That's very important, and if you don't understand her, you can ask her, you know that. And I think that it's fine that you didn't tell her why you were upset, I'm sure that would have led to another fight. It's like a polite dissembling.. not really a lie. When you say something polite instead of what might be the truth but would be rude or hurtful to the person? That's okay, especially to your girlfriend. Like I told you before, relationships are hard, if they were easy they wouldn't be so desirable! _

_I hope that Flint doesn't interfere with your night off. Try to stay out of trouble, so they won't have any excuse to deny you that night off. I'll try to send you another care package soon! Much love._

_Beth_

_0 0 0 0 0 _

Dear Aunt Beth,

Yes, a real date and to a nice restaurant. We're going at the end of the week. Yes, I will wear some of the nice civilian clothes. Yes, I asked her out. Asking a woman out on a date isn't exactly rocket science. Even a knuckle-dragger like me can manage to do it.

We did a lot of talking for sure. I don't think we have a abusive relationship at all. Not unless you consider Snakes and Shana to have a abusive relationship too. It's not like we ever scare each other or leave marks on each other. I figure it's more along the lines of how those brother's of Shana's beat on each other just playing around. Does that make sense? We don't want to hurt each other, but we're pretty physical. She likes to touch and hug a lot more than I'm comfortable with, but I'm learning to deal with it. It's not that I don't enjoy getting hugged by her, I just ain't used to it. I still jump if I don't see it coming. I'll get used to it eventually. Got any tips for getting used to a girl hugging you?

The mugger didn't hurt either of us. I busted my elbow on the pavement, no big deal. Just took about 4 stitches to close it, although I don't think they really needed to put any stitches in. Overreacting again. The mugger was going after Courtney, but well.. it didn't go all that well for him. We left him tied up for the local police to take care of. Duke wasn't all that happy about the reports he got over it. Courtney and I had to stand in his office and get yelled at about proper procedures. Duke can be a bit tiresome at times. I offered to get him some aspirin and he put me on KP duty for a night. I just washed dishes and peeled some potatoes and stuff.

The messhall gives us pretty good chow, but I sure wish we had stuff like you tell me about. I'm fond of good food even if I will eat just about anything. Roadblock gave me another recipe for some sort of coconut soup. I don't know that I ever ate coconut soup, but he says it's good stuff and to send it to you.

I'm glad that everyone is pulling together to make up for Seth being out. I know the boys probably are running ragged with a missing teacher. We have more trainers than we need, but only because people get sent out all the tiime, so we have to be able to fill in without any fuss. If Seth gets too uppity, you can remind him that everyone has to take up his slack because he was being dumb trying to show off.

Tell Paddy that revolver arrived, it's a piece of junk. Ask him if he wants the pieces back or if I should chuck it into the scrap metal pile? The barrel is rusted so bad the rifling is shot, the cylinder doesn't set correctly in the frame and won't spin, and the stop is cracked anyway, so it'll snap the first time you tried to fire it.. if it was fireable in the first place. It's just all around a piece of junk. The grip even has a crack that makes it unstable so it doesn't really have one good part in the whole thing. The hammer is jammed because I think the frame is warped, I didn't honestly get into it any further, since I found so many things wrong, I just quit looking at it. If he wants it back, I can ship it back to him, but I want him to know that it will never be safe to fire a round through. He can just let me know what he wants done with it.

I'll have to think about getting Courtney a plant. Maybe she'd like a cactus, it's prickly like she is, and doesn't take a lot of taking care of, like her. Since she don't like flowers, and a cactus can't be called a flower, maybe she'd like that. I'm glad I didn't screw up by letting her think I was unhappy over her being upset. Maybe I'm starting to get the hang of this dating stuff after all.

Sorry this is got to get cut off now, I have to go find out why the greenshirts are headed upstairs in a big group when they should be sleeping. They're probably up to no good and I like to catch them before they actually damage things.

Best wishes,

Wayne


	11. Chapter 11

Soo, one last set of letters... then it'll be time for them to go out on the town. What does Aunt Beth think of that cactus idea? What's Beach thinking? How did it go, and what were those greenshirts up to!

Thank you to one of the many fellow writers who suggested the punishment for the greenshirts. I think I lost the PM with it in it or I'd thank you by name, and it's after midnight now, so I can't think straight! BIG HUGS to you for it anyway!

_0 0 0 0 0_

_Dear Wayne,_

_For GOD'S SAKE! Don't get her a cactus and tell her that! Good lord boy! I'll be writing to you in the hospital! I hope this reaches you before you do that. Gracious! Sometimes I really wonder if you were dropped on your head Wayne! Prickley? If you did that to her, I'm afraid you'll deserve a good whap on the head from her. _

_I'm so excited for you and Courtney getting to go out on a date to a nice place. I hope it goes well and remember not to say anything mean to her! Tell her nice things. As far as the hugging and such goes, you almost got used to the idea of a total stranger hugging you here, so if you'd just suck it up and try hard, I'm certain you'll get used to her hugging you too. Don't you like to get hugs?_

_I'm sorry to hear you got put on KP duty but you've got to stop needling your CO. Please tell your chef friend I'm not sure if that soup recipe was a joke or not, but it tasted rather awful and the milk curdled. I'm sending the recipe back to you with my notes and questions, so if you could give that to him, I would appreciate it. I'm certain something was done wrong._

_Seth is actually doing what he can to help, even one handed. You're right though, he did a lot of ducking on his responsibilities but he straightened up once Paddy got onto him. Speaking of Paddy, he was quite disappointed to hear the pistol was in such terrible shape. He said to go ahead and destroy it, since he's afraid if he put it up on the wall, someone at some point might try to fire it, and he doesn't want anyone hurt by accident. The revolver belonged to one of his uncles from the War and he hoped it could be restored. That's too bad that it's all junked, but his uncle's daughter had put it out in a shed that leaked.. and you can imagine all the things that happened to it. But anyway, he said destroy it, since it's dangerous._

_I'm cutting this letter short, in hopes that if I get it into the mail early enough, you won't have gone through with your cactus idea. Please don't do that!_

_All my love, even if you've been dropped on your head too many times,_

_Beth_

0 0 0 0 0

Dear Aunt Beth

Wow, I wish I had waited to hear from you. The cactus ended up being a bad idea just like you said in your letter here. Courtney tried to throw it at me, so it's a bit battered up and so am I. It took about ten minutes for Lifeline to pull the spines outa my left ear too. He made a crack about me getting it pierced the hard way, then he tried to advise me about how I should make it up to her. I find it laughable that she's the one throwing a cactus on my head, but I'm the one apologizing to her and trying to make it up to her.

I spent the rest of the day watching my greenies run the PT course and stand guard duty in Arctic gear. I figure it'll simulate being in full hot weather conditions and get them used to moving around in the bulky gear at the same time. That should teach the bunch of trouble-makers not to try to set my obstacles on fire.. or at least, not to get caught trying to do it. You'd think they'd learn that acting like they're being sneaky is a dead giveaway that they're up to no good. They do keep me on my danged toes though.

I wanted to ask you, but I don't think I'll have time for a reply by letter. So I might have to just go and wing it. My CO(the big boss, not just Duke) has told me I'm expected to attend Rendezvous this year. It's a Ranger thing, they hold it every two years. I thought maybe I should ask Courtney to attend it with me. My CO is sending me on a trip voucher, along with one other Ranger in the unit. But if she wanted to go, she could request the time off, and go on her vacation leave time. I mean.. it'd be asking her to take some of her leave days to go on a trip with me. It'd also be just the two of us on a trip, like a vacation, not on a assigned mission or nothing. I don't know if it's entirely appropriate to ask for a woman to do that, but since we're dating now, then it's okay, right? Would it be too pushy of me? I don't want her to think I want.. you know.. anything from her. But then, I'd get us a room together too, so that would kind of being saying I did want stuff. I just don't know if she'd think it was good or be insulted. I really don't know if I should ask her.

I also thought maybe she would be mad that I didn't ask her to come along too, even if it's sort of a mandatory trip for me. See, I'm afraid that if I ask her to go, she'll be mad because she thinks I'm being too forward and being a lecher or something, trying to pressure her. But if I don't ask her to go, she might think I don't want to spend that time with her, and I sure do. I don't want to go in the first place, but if she was to come along, well.. then it'd be a right fine trip, I'll bet. Whether or not we do anything what we aren't already doing now. Not that we're doing stuff now or nothing. Geez, I really hate talking about 'stuff' like this. It sounds so rude to just talk to someone else about it, but I sure ain't got many folks here to ask about it what wouldn't just make fun of me for the rest of time if they knew I wasn't sure about it.

Well, anyway, now that I yammered on about something you probably can't get me an answer on anyway before we go on this date, I guess I'd better go on and sign off on this. I took off that evening and the next day so if we want to be out really late, we don't have to worry. As wound up as I am right now, I might just pass out on that night and wake up the next morning on my floor! I hope not though, that'd be embarrassing as all heck. I won't actually do that. Maybe I'll hold off on asking her for a while longer. Of course, she has to put in for that leave time quick so it can be granted or not. Flint and Duke have to approve all the leave times for folks. Except my greenshirts, I approve those with Flint. Or.. I approve them and Flint argues with me until one of us gives in.

I just thought of something too. What if Flint or Duke suspect something might be going on between Courtney and me? Then I'd get busted for sure, and maybe her too. I mean, why else would she be putting in for time off at the same time that I'd be leaving for Rendezvous? This dating stuff is really convoluted! Trying to work around the Army rules is almost as hard as working around Courtney's emotions! And I keep reminding myself that I SHOULDN'T be working around the rules in the first place.

Oh well, I'll have to decide something sooner or later. I really appreciate that you take the time to read this dumb grunt's letters, even when I don't make much sense. Thank you. Plus, you got to tell me how that whole blue cheese is going. How do you tell which is the good mold and which is the bad mold? Do you just feed it to someone and see if they keel over? Feed it to a couple ducks first.

Oh, tell Paddy to expect a box from me sometime in the next couple of weeks. Once I read that junked pistol was a family War relic, I thought of something to do with it. It'll be safe when I get done with it, but if he doesn't like it, he can always take it to the scrap yard himself.

My 'chef friend' said to tell you coconut milk, not canned milk with pieces of coconut. Apparently I messed up his recipe, and now I'm eating the leftovers again for a few days until he gets over his snit. I put the new copy of the corrected recipe in here for you. Sorry I screwed it up. Personally, I've tasted it once from him and it's kind of weird. I don't know if coconut milk is that different from canned milk, but he thinks it is a big deal, so there you go. Now I'm going to seal this letter up and go lie in bed to think about the whole dating situation.

Best wishes.

Wayne

0 0 0 0 0

End chapter

So.. time for the date? Should he ask her? Should he not? Is this whole dating thing a big mistake for him? Or is it the best thing that's happened in his life? He's got a lot to think on. I hope you're enjoying these little mini-fics that I'm using to tie the stories together.


	12. Chapter 12

Okay so here's a new set of Letters, set just after the big date in town!

_Dear Wayne,_

_Well, sooner or later you'll start learning to think of things from Courtney's point of view. Would you like to be called prickly? Of course, I'm sorry to hear you had to have spines pulled out of your ear, I'll guess that smarted quite a bit. I'm truly hoping that your dinner out with Courtney went well and that you did manage to dredge up the courage to ask her to go to Fort Benning with you. Is there a possibility that we might get together for a meal while you're in the area? That would be quite a treat, but of course, I would understand if civilians aren't allowed, or if you can't make time for it._

_As far as whether it's proper, I suppose that would be between you and Courtney. I hope you were careful in how you asked her, and made it clear what any intentions were. If she does accompany you, I'd love to see her as well, of course! She's such a lovely lady, I can see why you seem to adore her so much._

_You do make me laugh Wayne! The blue cheese is made with a special starter that gives the cheese the correct molds. I'll make sure to let the boys taste it first just to be sure I won't poison you though. The ducks have slowed in laying eggs, but they aren't escaping anymore either, so I think I'll say it's a draw! Sissy does have one hen that keeps escaping and going to walk around her pasture with her. She seems to like the silly chicken so it's going to just have to hang out in the barn instead of with the other hens._

_Paddy said he didn't want to cause you any extra work, but he'll let you decide on the pistol. He's only concerned about safety with it, and he said that if anyone is a good judge of safety with guns, it'd be you. For myself, I have a sneaking suspicion that you're up to something, I can almost see the scheming Ranger coming out in you. I'll be good and wait to see what sort of box you send Paddy. And stop calling yourself things like 'dumb grunt'. You haven't got me fooled at all, Mr Wayne. Not one little bit. I watched you play the ignorant redneck here, but you're just clever. Don't worry, I won't tell on you though._

_The new recipe did work much better, and yes Wayne, there is a lot of difference between coconut milk and milk with coconut pieces. You're right though, it's a very odd dish. I'm not certain it went over all that well actually. Please thank your friend though, I do like to make different dishes on occasion, and it's definitely different._

_I'm trying to think of things to write about, but all I can think of is "how did the date go?" so I guess I'm going to give up and wait to hear from you. _

_All my love,_

_Aunt Beth_

0 0 0 0 0

Dear Aunt Beth,

The date went well, all in all. The food was good, Courtney got into a catfight over me, and I got tasered twice and a mild concussion. So.. overall, it's most successful date I've ever had. Of course, I haven't had very many, but I'm not sure I can survive this whole 'dating' thing if it's going to be so rough on me. I have to be in shape to work the next day, and I can't be laid up with even mild concussions.

Not that I was laid up, although Doc did try to order me on rest for a day or two. We worked it out so I could go ahead and run PT and all without much fuss and shouting. Of course, I'm also on punishment duty AGAIN, which isn't fair at all, but when your big boss says 'go stand guard duty' you just have to go stand guard duty. It's boring and I'd rather be scrubbing floors than standing guard duty, but then I guess that's why they assign me it, because I hate it.

Rendezvous allows civilian spectators for at least the mass jump, so if you wanted to come down to Benning to see it, it's worth watching. I'm sure we could have a meal with you too. Oh, Courtney said she would come with me to Benning and Duke just approved the leave time for her too. She said he told her it was worth whatever inconvenience to have both of us gone from his eyesight. He did say if we get into any trouble at Benning, he'll think up some horrible punishments to inflict on us.

That cheese making stuff sounds way too complex to me. You have to add all kinds of things to make it turn into cheese and not have bad things in it and then you have to wait forever for it to actually turn into cheese. Maybe that's why people don't usually make their own cheese? I'm not worried about you poisoning me, I trust your cooking and also your cheese making.. besides, I can eat most anything and not get sick, so I think I'm pretty safe.

If the ducks aren't laying eggs, does that mean it's time to eat them? You did say that if the chickens didn't lay eggs, you'd eat them, so will you eat the ducks now? And I guess your cow has her own pet chicken now. I didn't know cows liked chickens.

I'm glad Paddy has such faith in me. I'll have it ready soon and I'll just ship it out as soon as it's done. What with the punishment duties, I'm not getting much extra time to do anything off-duty. I had to run through a new shipment of sidearms yesterday, after my usual duties and standing guard on a useless door downstairs, plus running the punishment PT for some of the Joes that got into trouble. After all that, and not getting much sleep because Lifeline kept coming around to wake me up every thirty minutes to make sure I didn't die in my sleep or something weird like that, I fell asleep over supper with Courtney. She had to wake me up at the table and I thought she'd be all kinds of mad about it. But instead she was awfully nice about it and said it was okay. She even insisted I go ahead to bed rather than hanging out with her later instead. Just when I think I have her figured out, she does something really nice or something completely cracked.. and I feel like I'm back to square one. Is that normal or is Courtney just wacko?

I said I was sorry about the coconut milk/real milk mix-up. I don't care for the soup when he makes it 'correctly' anyway. But I'll try to be extra careful when I write down the recipes. Do you can any of the goat or cow milk? I remember my Momma canning milk.

Alright, lunch break is over. Since Courtney is doing KP duty, I'm eating by myself. She did sneak me an extra helping of the beef tips and gravy though. I told her maybe I should put her on KP duty anytime something good is going to be on the menu and she threw honeyed carrots on me. But she smiled while she did it too, so I don't think she was too mad. Also.. should I offer to buy her a new set of stockings since she ended up ruining hers on the date? It seems awfully close to buying underclothes for her, and I sure don't want to imply I'm buying that sort of thing for her. Shipwreck says that I should buy her stockings made from nets. He said that he's dated a lot of women and he knows how to do things so they'll be happy. What do you think? Being female and all, I think I'd trust your advice rather than Ship here. After all, he doesn't have a girlfriend, so he can't be all that great at dating himself, right?

Talk soon, I'll send you the details about Rendezvous.

Wayne.


	13. Chapter 13

Ahh, and poor Aunt Beth, she'll end up with an ulcer trying to keep Beach out of trouble via mail. For the readers, Rendezvous is coming along fairly nicely, be patient! It's coming!

_Dear Wayne,_

_A catfight and tasers and a concussion? That's not a date that 'went well'! Who was Courtney getting into a fight with? Why would she taser you? Did you get fresh with her? I'll be so disappointed in you if you misbehaved so badly they she felt the need to use a taser on you! For shame Wayne! Did you fall and hit your head then? I swear that you sit on that base of yours thinking up ways to drive me insane. Why were you given punishment duty? Because of how you acted with Courtney?_

_With the Fort Benning event, I should be able to make it down for the one day. If Courtney agreed to go along, she must not be too angry at you after all. I'm glad that she got leave time to attend. Hopefully you can keep out of trouble for at least a single week. I think you mean "fishnet stockings" and I think that's a bit risque to be buying for Courtney, I'm not certain she would appreciate those at all. Perhaps your friend Shipwreck(do the people choose these names?) knows Courtney better than I do, though. I think that perhaps you should offer to replace them for her, and see what she suggests. She might say you don't need to, but since you offered, she'll be pleased. I think you should get her something small as a present though. I also think you're right about her not being angry over the comment at dinner. It sounds like she knew you were joking and thought it was funny._

_The cheese is doing just fine, except the cheddar seems to have turned bad. If you're going to make smarty butt comments about being tough enough to survive my food and cheese, perhaps I should send the spoiled sets to you. I'm only joking, I wouldn't send you bad food. I won't be eating the ducks, no matter how much you want to eat them. Chickens should lay eggs all year long, while my ducks often only lay for a time, then they stop laying for the rest of the year._

_You need to get more rest, especially if you had a concussion. It's good Courtney tried to get you to rest more, and you should think of listening to her and the doctors. It's perfectly normal for Courtney to feel concerned for you if she cares about you. That's not abnormal or "wacko". Hopefully you didn't call her that or you'll have more items thrown at your head._

_No, I haven't canned milk, I hadn't thought about it, but I will be looking into that. Hopefully I can do that, since the amount of milk is incredible! Sissy definitely is a champion cow. I'm so pleased with her. I'm discussing breeding her again with her owner, and she's agreed that if I want to pay for the semen, I can keep the next calf as well. I sent her pictures and she was very pleased with how good she looks with the private pasture. She wasn't nearly so fat and healthy when she arrived. Not that Faith took poor care of her at all, but the other cows just bullied her away from the food too often. Now that she doesn't have the stress, she has gained weight and filled out to a big sleek cow. So she'll be staying with me for quite a while._

_Well, you need to let me know what happened on your date. I'll be awaiting your next letter. _

_All my love,_

_Beth_

0 0 0 0 0

Dear Aunt Beth,

Thanks. No, Courtney isn't the one what tasered me. It was the cops. I appreciate that you thought the worst of me though. I might be a backwoods hick, but I ain't never been overly forward with any unwilling lady. Courtney had a catfight with a waitress, then the cops tried to bust me and her over it. Our CO came and bailed us out though, and that's why we got punishment duty. Like I said, overall it went well, although dates are really hard on a guy. I don't know that I want to be going on too many of the danged things if that's how they go.

I should have waited for your advice, but Shipwreck talked me into the net ones.. but instead of buying net stockings, I just went and got net. I figured Courtney could make stockings out of it, but she just laughed a long time and walked off. I asked Shipwreck what I did wrong and he showed me pictures of ladies wearing those 'fishnet stockings' and wow. I told Courtney she'd look really good in that kind and she slapped me! She was all kinds of pleased when I told her she looked good in the regular stockings, but slapped me when I praised her the second time. Women don't make any sense at all.

No smart comments regarding your food from me. That's not how I meant it but I guess I can't really say how I did mean it, I'm just not all that great with words. I guess if the ducks aren't supposed to lay all year, they can't be faulted. But.. when do you eat some of them? Seems the life of Riley to me.. they can escape and eat your garden and drive you nuts and not lay eggs, and they still get treated well and fed. When I die I want to come back as a duck on your farm. I'm glad your cow is doing rally good. I'd think a cow might get lonely without other cows around, because you usually see cows in herds. But I guess Sissy the cow has a chicken to keep her company now. I'm not sure what you're talking about with buying that stuff and then you get to keep a calf. Wouldn't you just have a bull come in? Do you mean you pay someone to bring the bull in? Do people actually get paid for that?

Momma used mason jars to can milk, and a pressure cooker. I don't remember exactly about what temperatures or how long. The canned milk didn't taste just like fresh, but it sure was welcome when we didn't have anything else.

As far as me resting, I'll just repeat again, I'm FINE. I'm a big tough guy what isn't bothered by a little knock to my head. Laying around wouldn't make my head hurt less. So a few aspirin and I just went on my way. The medic did keep waking me up that whole night.. or well, the morning. He said I could just die from hitting my head, but I'm pretty sure it was pure meanness because I wouldn't let them keep me in the infirmary.

Sorry this is going to be short, but I got to head downstairs to stand guard on a door like some rank private. Hopefully you're not too mad at me, but most all the issues during the date weren't my fault. Plus, Courtney said it was a great date too. Of course, she didn't get tasered or whacked in the head. Anyway, if you still want to come to Benning, it'd be good to see you, if you're not too mad at me. I didn't mean to make you mad. But I don't see that I did anything wrong either. Seems I manage to make folks mad without even trying.

BeachHead


	14. Chapter 14

More letters, seems there's a little bit of misunderstanding. Sometimes even BeachHead can be over-sensitive about certain things.

0 0 0 0 0

_Dear Wayne,_

_I'm sorry I implied you might have done anything wrong, I did not mean it like that. I'm not angry. I was afraid perhaps you got a bit too.. frisky and that perhaps Courtney over-reacted. I'm glad to hear that wasn't the case, although I still think it's terrible that you were tasered. Why would the police taser you? Were you fighting with them? Dates should not include catfights, tasers or concussions! You should be able to simply go eat a nice meal in a restaurant and perhaps a movie, without involving police or medical personnel. _

_Those fishnet stockings are risque, so I expect Courtney was upset that you thought she was 'that sort' of woman. It's no wonder she slapped you for that. Fishnet stockings look like net but they aren't made of netting like fishnets. I'm glad Courtney found that amusing. I found it amusing too. I don't think any man really understands women, Wayne. It's not just you. But we women just want you to make the effort I think. You just need to listen to Courtney and try to do nice things for her and say nice things to her. Things like getting her a radiator for a present didn't sound like a nice thing to do to me, but since she liked it a lot, it shows that you did very well! You just have to keep listening and trying to think of what she will feel if you say something... before you actually say it. Think before you talk, and you'll get into less trouble._

_If I want Sissy to have another calf, I need to breed her to a good bull. But instead of having to ship the cow or the bull to the other animal, now they just take semen from the bulls and sell it. Then a vet comes out and administers the semen, and you get a pregnant cow, without all the fuss of having a bull. And yes, I have to pay for the semen, because I want to get a good bloodline. That way my calf will be the best possible bloodline. If it's another male, I'll get a ridiculously good price for him, and if it's a female, it'll be the best cow, give lots of milk and make great calves of her own when she grows up. Cows are terribly complex now. Some bloodlines give more milk, and some give better milk with a higher butter content. Some look better. So you have to decide what aspects are most important to you and go with a complementary bloodline._

_The ducks do have it pretty good. They eat tons of insects though. I also can let them weed my garden, when there isn't vegetables they like to eat in there. I get a lot of eggs from them over a lot of the year. I'm thinking of getting some peafowl. Someone in Cedar Grove has some for sale and I've always thought they were beautiful._

_I'm glad that you're okay. I'm certain that the medic only had your best interests, and they are supposed to make sure you don't go to sleep if you have a concussion. You should let the medical people do the medical things. They have all the training about treating injuries and illnesses. So do what they tell you!_

_I'm not mad at you Wayne! Not at all. I'm glad that Courtney had a good time, even if it sounds like the date went a bit awry. Hopefully your punishment duty doesn't last too long. I imagine that standing somewhere doing nothing at all would be rather torturous for you. I doubt that Courtney appreciates being on KP duty either. With any luck, you two will get a chance to have some downtime together soon._

_I'm headed out today to pick up Mason jars! Yes, I'll be trying to can milk! Hopefully it will work just fine. I look forward to hearing from you soon!_

_All my love,_

_Aunt Beth_

_p.s. No, I'm not mad.. in case you missed the other times I said it._

0 0 0 0 0

After a week...

_Dear Wayne,_

_I haven't heard from you, so I thought I would send another letter. Perhaps you're off-base, or simply really busy? I hope you aren't mad at me! I understand that you have a lot of work to do though, they keep you very busy! Just keeping an eye on all those young trouble-makers seems like a full time job in itself! Since it's been nearly a week, I decided to just go ahead and write to update you!_

_It turns out that all of my cheddar cheeses went bad. I'm not certain what exactly went wrong, but it certainly went very wrong. What a mess! I did start up several new batches of goat cheese though. The canning of the milk seems to have worked. If I check the milk in a week and it's good to use, I'll probably jar up quite a bit. It could come in handy! I can use it to cook with, although it's not very good to use as a drinking milk. Cooked milk tastes different than regular milk._

_I called up the people in Cedar Grove, and they have a few white peacocks available. That just sealed the deal for me and I'm going to pick some peafowl up this weekend. Seth and Sean are helping me build a new roomy pen so I can keep them safely contained until they are familiar with the area, and then they'll go into the pen at night too. _

_Sean said he hopes that you send more pictures soon and he got the story on your date with Courtney. He said if he ever had a date end with a concussion and tasering, he'd never set eyes on that particular girl again. But then he did add that if the girl looked like Courtney, he might risk a second date. Seth said he'd put up with any amount of tasers or concussions if it was Courtney he was dating. His wrist is healed up now also, although he's not allowed to do any fighting or even sparring yet. He's doing a lot more work now though, so the boys can relax a bit. It's good too, because they were beginning to get a bit ragged there for a while. In two weeks, Sean, Scott and Paddy are all heading out to a tournament in Chicago, leaving the dojo in the hands of the younger boys. Seth is nominally in charge, with Jack coming in that week to assist and of course, Sarah will be around to keep all of them out of trouble. Sallah is coming here to stay with me. It should be a hectic few days. I'll make sure Paddy gets some pictures for you and also of course for SnakeEyes and Shana. I'm betting Sean takes a few prizes at the tournament._

_Well, I hope you are well and they aren't keeping you too busy. Please don't be angry at me, I certainly didn't mean anything bad in my letter._

_All my love,_

_Aunt Beth._

0 0 0 0 0

End chapter

Why no answers? Beach not writing her because...?


	15. Chapter 15

With still no word from BeachHead, Aunt Beth tries again...

_Dear Wayne,_

_It's been quite some time since I heard from you. Now I'm very worried that either you're very angry at me, or you've been hurt or something else terrible may have happened. I hope it's something very mundane, perhaps you were sent off on another trip and simply haven't gotten back. Of course the mother in me just worries that you're in a ditch somewhere and somehow no one is helping you._

_Of course, knowing you, if you were in a muddy ditch, you'd probably be rather happy about it. I'll hope that's the case! Things here are fine. Sean and Scott did very well in competition and said to tell you that. I haven't mentioned that I haven't heard from you in weeks. I know they'd worry too. If I don't hear from you soon, I'll write to Shana and see if she knows anything. At any rate, Scott took second place in the Nationals, and Sean placed in both his competitions. They're strutting around quite a bit, and Paddy threatened to smack both of them with a stick if they didn't settle down._

_Sissy's owner agreed to the stud I wanted to use, so "my" cow will be bred soon and hopefully she'll take and be pregnant. The goats are all breeding already to the billy I have. So right now, there's no milk, but soon there will be babies again. When I start getting goat milk again, I'll try out some recipes for goat milk soap. If you like, I'll send you a few soaps from my supplier. It's quite nice and smells very fragrant. It's also quite popular at the local farmer's markets, and no one locally is producing any. I might be able to fill a niche market with it. Also, I will be putting up more cheeses. When I hear from you, I finally have some blue cheese to send! It's finally ripened up and it looks lovely. The gouda didn't turn out perfect, but it's quite tasty as well. I wanted to try making cream cheese, but didn't get around to trying that. Next time.. there's always a next time._

_How is Courtney, and all your troops? Hopefully everyone is staying out of trouble and not bothering you. I certainly miss hearing from you, I declare! I didn't realize how much I enjoyed getting your letters each week! It was like a miniature visit in each envelope. For someone who isn't overly verbose in person when talking about himself, you manage to write lovely letters._

_I hope to hear from you soon, that you're fine and all is well. Again, if I managed to offend you with any of my words, I apologize. _

_Yours truly,_

_Aunt Beth_

* * *

Dear Beth,

I haven't read any of the letters you've sent to Beach, of course. But I saw the pile laying here on his desk, and I surmise you're probably worried over him not writing back. Maybe he mentioned he was going off base on a mission before he left, but if not, that's what happened. The problem is, he was due back in a week, but he's missed his pick-ups each time. The first two times, he simply didn't show up. The last time, there was a incident, and we're unsure if it has anything to do with him or not. Right now, he's missing and no one has any information. I know this isn't reassuring to read, and I wish I could say he's just being anti-social and not writing you back. I really really wish he was here or that I knew what was going on, but I don't. Of course, I can't actually say a lot of details, but trust me, the details wouldn't help much. We're all sort of sitting and waiting. I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever see him again, and it scares me a lot.

If anything happens and I can let you know, I will. Oh gosh, I don't mean to sound all 'doom and gloom' here. I'm sure that tough guy will show up, and be all mad at us for not doing something he thinks should have been done, and yell at me for being worried over him, eat half the messhall and go off to scream at the troops like always. I just really wish he was here right now doing that.

I'll update you when I have anything to tell you.

Courtney.

* * *

_Dear Courtney,_

_Thank you so much for letting me know. I'll be praying very hard that Wayne shows up soon. It's so frightening to think he might be missing and you not be able to do anything. You be strong though, you're right. He's always telling me that he's a "big strong Ranger" and that he's tougher than nails and can handle anything. I'm certain he'll return to you soon. In the meantime, please make sure you are taking proper care of yourself and stay busy. _

_All my love and prayers,_

_Aunt Beth._

* * *

So... Beach is missing.. what will happen?


	16. Chapter 16

Finally a reply...

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To: Beth O'Hara

Overnight Message, no signature required.

Content:

I'm back on base. I'm fine.

Wayne

From: Undisclosed Postal Code

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To: Sgt major Sneeden

Overnight message, no signature required.

Content:

Wayne, I'm glad you are fine. Which "fine" are you? Fine according to you could mean two broken legs and a skull fracture with a missing hand. Were you hurt? Were you lost? Courtney was pretty worried, so I hope that you were nice when you arrived back too. I'm so very very glad you are back. Just very relieved. But I hope to hear a few details from you soon. I realize that you might not be able to tell me though, thinking about it. I guess the most important thing is that you are back and safe. As long as you're not too badly hurt. Please let me know, unless you are angry and that's why the extremely short message? I hope not.

All my love, Beth

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Dear Aunt Beth,

I'm SORRY it was a short message, I figured you'd want to at least know I got back, since Courtney said you were worried about me. I checked in with my CO, got debriefed and sent off the message to you. Then I managed to eat before I fell asleep for nearly 48 hours. I wanted to let you know I was okay, since I didn't want you to worry.

No, I'm not angry at you, why would I be angry? Sometimes you are pretty confusing to me too. I don't think you try to be, but I just don't get it sometimes. When I'm angry about things, it's generally pretty obvious. I know that me and Courtney don't appear to be any sort of perfect couple, but I think we do pretty okay between us.

I can't tell you what I was doing off base. I can say that it went just fine. But when the plane arrived to pick me up, I couldn't get to the plane, because there was people in between me and the airstrip. Some sort of minor war was going on between two big drug lords I think. It didn't have a danged thing to do with me, but I was sneaking around trying to get out of the area to catch my plane, and they were all sort of in my way. So the plane left without me, as it was supposed to do. The second meeting place was a bit farther away, and I ended up in a firefight with the second drug gang trying to get to that bush strip(that's like a little airport cut into a jungle, not much more than a short bit of cleared roadway for a little plane to land on, really) so I missed that flight too! I was told that the third plane got shot down when it approached the first landing strip. Those drug lords really are a big issue. We were lucky the pilot was okay and he was sent back by the local security police. But after the third try, no one could really send in another plane, obviously it was too hot of a zone to be risking more aircraft and pilots. So I ended up hiking out on my own, caught a ride on a cow trailer and then hitched a ride on a mail plane out to the major airport to get on a American flight home. I checked in as soon as I had communications to the base and all. So it was pretty hectic but all in all, I was actually fine, it was other stuff happening all around me. No broken legs, no missing fingers or anything. I think the worst thing I have is a few bruises from banging around in the cow trailer. Have I mentioned I don't care for live cows? I think one of the buggers kicked me in the same spot about ten times.

Anyway... I'm off duty for another entire 24 hours, doctor's orders. No real reason other than he put in for 3 days off for me when I got back. Since I already slept off 2 days of it, he said I could spend today doing nothing. Not my first choice in things to do, but hey. You have to do as you're told by Doc. Yes, before you ask, he threatened to sedate me and duct tape me to a stretcher and stand me in the corner on my head if I tried to go right back on duty against his recommendations. Ha. Very funny of him. He's a bully. His medic wasn't much better, standing behind him with the roll of duct tape.

So I figure I can answer all four of your letters at once. It was actually really nice to come back to a stack of letters. Just like Christmas. Roadblock also made me a killer meatloaf. So I'm full and rested and prohibited from doing anything useful. Stupid medics. And no, nothing wrong with having half a meatloaf for breakfast. I was hungry.

Courtney and I are fine. The cops sort of jumped on us and we stopped beating on them as soon as we realized it was the police. That was after they already tasered me. I'll take your word on it being unusual for a date to end with all that. Maybe the next time will go better. I try to listen to her as best I can. When she makes any sense I try to follow what she would like.

I'm glad you'll get another baby cow. That sounds really.. dirty with all that about stuff to make baby cows and all though. Glad it's you and not me. I'm not any more fond of cows after sharing that trailer with a dozen of them for hours. Did you get the peacocks? I never saw white ones, only blue ones with the big tails. Those are really loud. I heard them at a zoo once, and they'll about bust your eardrums. They are awfully pretty though. Can you eat them?

Sorry the cheddar cheese didn't work. Do you know why? I know that canned milk don't taste like fresh, but we used what we had when I was growing up. Mostly it was for baking and cooking though.

Glad to hear the O'Hara clan did well at the tournament. I figured they would. I mean... for the five minutes it took for me to read to find out how it ended up. Those brothers are pretty skilled at their martial arts. Easy to see where Shana got her base education in fighting.

Ahh, about that "fragrant" soap. I probably wouldn't care for it, but I'm certain Courtney would like it. I don't use anything scented like that. I get ragged about smelling 'less than preferred', but I also get called up at a moment's notice, no time to go shower off any scents. I'm sure it would sell well if people like that sort of thing. Do you bottle goat milk soap? How many baby goats will you have? Can't wait to try the blue cheese. I'm sure it's real tasty.

I'm glad that you like getting my letters. I sure enjoy getting them from you too. Even without care packages, the letters just really make a guy feel good. Getting back here to home base was a good feeling too. Apparently everyone was worried I was dead so they were glad to see my sorry carcass riding into the motorpool. I thought Courtney was going to smother me. She didn't even mind that I was filthy. Even Flint said he was glad to see I hadn't managed to drown in a bucket or anything. One good thing about being gone so long, my roommate took my laundry in and so I have all clean clothing, excepting what I had on when I got back, that is. While I was asleep, Private Williams cleaned up my body armor for me and Courtney came and brought me some soup and milk about halfway through my extended 'nap'. I woke up only as long as needed before just going back to sleep. When I got up this morning, Courtney was already on duty so I haven't seen her yet. Shana stopped by to check that I wasn't in a coma in my bunk or something and said I was pretty grumpy when I got the soup. I don't remember much but I asked if Courtney was mad at me now, and Shana said no, she was amused at me because she said I was trying to grumble while drinking soup. I'll see if she wants to have dinner tonight in the messhall. Courtney, not Shana that is.

Well I think that covers just about everything. Other than being dog tired and about as dirty as I could possibly get, I was fine. I was just unable to contact anyone, so I'm sorry you ended up all worried about me. It's part of the job sometimes though. Hopefully you're not all that upset still, and this letter explains everything out. I'm going to sign off on this and stuff it into an envelope to get mailed out. Then I think I'll go poke around the messhall and see if I can cadge some lunch off the cooks without getting into too much trouble.

Talk soon,

Wayne


	17. Chapter 17

_Dear Wayne,_

_I'm so glad to hear that you are indeed unhurt, by anyone's standards. I do appreciate that you sent a message right away! I know that I've been worried over you, and Courtney was also. I'm sure that many of your teammates were worried as well. It's good to hear they are glad to see you back in one piece. Sorry that your trip was so fraught with bad luck though. I can't believe you are so cavalier about being shot at by drug gangs. I know that perhaps you train for such things, but it's so scary sounding to me. I'm so thankful that you weren't hurt or worse. I am sorry that you got kicked by the cows. That's never fun._

_I think I should like to meet your doctor sometime. He does sound like a very determined individual. Anyone who can keep you in line even temporarily must be a very strong willed person._

_The peafowl are here! I got a nearly adult male white peacock and two peahens. The hens aren't white. He does have the big long tail, but he's all in shades of white. Very pretty. Once they are settled in, I'll send you some photographs. They haven't been making any noises yet, but they've only been here a day. And no, Wayne. I won't be eating the peacocks._

_I suppose that's a good reason for you not to use perfumes. I will send some for Courtney though. Shana likes it too. The soap is in bars, not bottles. It's a hard soap once it's done. I'll be making soap, cheese, and using the goat milk too. I might try making butter from the goat milk, but that usually doesn't work so well.. not like the cow milk anyway. So I'll be trying only for the novelty of goat butter. Mozzarella cheese will be the first one I set up. With 8 goats here, 9 if you count the buck, that should be a lot of milk. I've got two more nanny goats this year than last, two young doelings are big enough to breed this year._

_Your Fort Benning trip is coming up soon, correct? Do you still get to attend that? Since you were gone for much longer than first anticipated, does that mean that you can't take off time for the trip to the Ranger thing? Will Courtney still be able to attend? You did say she was going to go with you? Which day is best for me? I can make the drive whichever day is best, if it's still okay for me to attend as well._

_Sean just got here, he was a bit late. He told me he would come over at 6 this morning, and here it is nearly 6:30am. We will be repairing the chicken house, and then he will build a new milking stand for the goats for me. So I'd better finish this up quickly and get it out to the mailbox. I hope you got plenty of rest and food, and are completely recovered from your adventures._

_All my love,_

_Beth_

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Dear Aunt Beth.

Yes, I guess I'm pretty used to going into hairy situations. Rangers were made to get tossed behind enemy lines and kick everyone's butt. It is kind of nice to know folks worried about me, but at the same time, it's almost like I get annoyed because maybe people don't think I can handle the situation. Most of the time, the nice feeling wins out though. That and everyone here that works with me are pretty convinced I can handle anything up to and including a tank with a rifle, bad attitude and shouting.

I did get rested up. That was the first two days back. I'm all back to my regular routine and my regular duties, and yes, I will still be attending Rendezvous. Courtney still has her leave time as well, so I've booked the airline tickets for all three of us. That's my fellow Ranger here, and Courtney and me. Even though SnakeEyes is a Ranger, he's not going, for obvious reasons our CO doesn't bother him about this sort of thing. Also, maybe less obvious, is the fact that he'd wipe out all the competitions, except maybe the shooting. I've already cleaned my best rifle and sighted it in. Once I'm at Benning, I'll have to do that again, but I'll have a good baseline to begin with. Stalker is off base, so I've cleaned his rifle for him as well. Courtney has been busier than a long tailed cat in a rocker chair store this week. There was three wrecks during the time I was gone, and 8 vehicles needed heavy repairs. There was one totaled Jeep, and she's been cutting pieces off of it to weld into place on another one. So she's been putting in a lot of time working. I've tried to make sure she's eating 3 good meals a day, but if I ain't got time to take her lunch, half the time she skips it. I know that she's trying to get caught up before leaving for Benning, but she's worked double-shifts for two weeks, and she barely gets herself to her bunk without falling asleep in the halls.

You sound like you will be really busy with critters soon. All those goats each have a baby, and the cow will have a baby. Will you have new chickens and ducks too? Plus those new peacocks. I'm pretty sure I could eat one of them birds. After all, you don't want me to eat any of the ducks, and peacocks are larger. You could keep all the feathers and I'll eat the rest. Except the feet. I've had chicken foot soup before, and it's edible, but it's not exactly something I go out of my way to eat.

The first day back on duty I had to really lean on my greenies. They were running wild too long without proper discipline. Yeah, there were drill instructors assigned, but just because they ran the courses, that don't mean there was any real discipline. So first day I had to bust three of them for mouthing off. So the rest of the day we did formation marches. Believe it or not, strict formation drills is just about more exhausting than going on a ten mile run. Plus, no one can do it completely perfect without a flaw. So there's plenty to yell at them about and make them miserable.

You can make butter from goat milk? Well.. I'd guess butter comes from milk. I don't think I've ever heard of goat butter though. Seems that goat milk is really versatile stuff! Now just make your car run on it, and you'll be set. You aren't getting milk yet though right? First you have to have baby goats, then you get milk. See? I was paying attention. So you'll have 8 baby goats, and some will be boy goats. Any of those that might need to be eaten? I'm not certain they'll let me haul a baby goat on the airplane back to base, but I could try. What was it that you and Sean were building? Something to sit milk on, like a work station maybe? I didn't quite understand that part. You probably could use some work stations with all the things you'll be doing with that milk, that's for sure.

Well, I've got to go take Courtney her dinner up to the garages. I've sat and waited for her while I was writing this in the messhall and it doesn't appear that she's coming down. She was talking about what sort of things she wanted to see at Benning, and when Stalker's wife would arrive and such. I'd suggest that you come down on the second day. That's when the mass parachute jump happens. That's sure something most folks don't get to see ever, and it's the most popular part of the week to the general public. I got confirmation that I'll be in the jump unit, so I'm pleased about that.

I'll leave a message at the gates for you, just ask if there's a message from you from Sergeant major Sneeden, and they'll be able to give it to you. That should tell you where we'll be and all. Drive safe when you come down.

Thanks again for all the letters.

BeachHead

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_Dear Wayne,_

_I will come down on the second day and I'll check in at the gate. I don't think you'll have time to respond to this before I'll see you at Fort Benning. The boys and Sallah are putting on a demonstration that day at a local school so it will be just me. I'll still be glad to see you and Courtney again. The event sounds so very exciting!_

_Sean and I did get the stand built. It's a low platform for a goat to stand on while you milk it. Otherwise, you'd be doubled over trying to milk a goat way down low to the ground. My old one was getting a bit wobbley and I didn't want it to suddenly collapse on me. No, Wayne, you may NOT eat my peacocks. They are here to look beautiful, not for eating. I'm not certain I want to know anything about chicken foot soup. I'm going to assume it's just a name and the 'feet' are just noodles. I can't imagine putting actual feet into a dish of soup._

_The goats will each have twins, with possible triplets. The two young doelings will probably have single babies, but they might twin as well. So I might get more than 15 baby goats. Yes, many will probably be boys, but no, I don't think the airline would allow a baby goat as your carry-on. No, I won't bring you one to Benning either. Get your own goats, mister! And if any of my ducks go missing while you're over here in Georgia, well, I'll be finding you pretty quickly, and you'd better have a good story cooked up._

_I hope Courtney has caught up on all her work. It sounds like she has really been overworked lately! She needs to make sure to eat properly and get plenty of rest. She'll make herself ill. I'm glad you got rested up yourself. It would be terrible to have to make the trip and compete in all the contests while weary from your regular work. Hopefully your soldiers are behaving now and not causing any more issues._

_Well, since I'll be seeing you very soon, I will make this a short letter, and talk to you at Fort Benning! I'm very excited._

_All my love,_

_Aunt beth_

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So next up.. chapter 1 of Ranger Rendezvous! Yes FINALLY! In just a few weeks I'll be posting the first.. ouch! ouch! Don't throw things, I'm only joking! It should be posted within ONE week, so watch for it. Hopefully it's entertaining.

Also, yes, me the author has indeed eaten chicken foot soup. Made with real feet off of chickens. It's the toenails that get you. Seriously.


	18. Chapter 18

Continuing the Letters exchanged between Beach and Aunt Beth. Sorry for the delay, this would be from before Beachhead leaves Benning.

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Dear Aunt Beth,

Well I'm writing this from another Benning hospital bed. I'm supposed to be resting but I'm dead bored and I just don't quite feel up to walking out yet. That and the doctor put locking restraints on me so I can't go more than arm's length anyway. Courtney just went to go find some dinner for herself. I sure don't feel like eating yet. My head is still killing me.

Oh, I guess I should tell you why I'm here. Well, there's not a really delicate way to say it, but I guess there was this bullet. And it wanted to occupy the space my head was in, so we had a bit of a conflict. I still couldn't say which of us won, but from the size of my headache, it might have come out on top. I can't tell you how it happened, it was a 'accidental shooting'. But I'm going to be just fine, as soon as they let me out, I'm headed back to base, just a bit dented.

To tell you the truth, and don't you repeat this, but I'm glad to have the excuse to lie here. So far I got half run down by a truck, had a C4 satchel charge go off within a couple feet of me, and you know about the parachute thing. Then Courtney kept me out all night at a bar dancing. I think the bar took more out of me than all the rest of the incidents AND the competitions put together. Heck, just getting knocked out by Squiggy is enough to make most folks want to go to bed for a day or so.

I think that Courtney and I will do okay. This week has kind of been hard as heck on me, but I guess it's some of that 'growing' stuff. I mean, I do trust her more than most anyone else ever. Some stuff that's happened kind of made me want to rethink that. Getting betrayed by a old friend just kind of throws everything out of kilter. But I had to think about whether to let that mess up the stuff we've already worked through together, or put it aside and go on with life. I guess I'll find out if I made the wrong choice or not.

Anyhow, I didn't want you to hear about me getting shot from some other source and get all kinds of mad that I hadn't told you. Plus this was a good excuse to get a pen from the nurses. Now I have something to pick the lock on this restraint with, instead of just dragging the whole bed out into the hall. Like I said, it's not that I want to really leave, but I do have a reputation to uphold.

Best wishes,

Wayne.

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_Dear Wayne,_

_You were shot in the head? I'm going to assume that is some sort of a joke or means something other than what I would think. I wish that if you were hurt in some way again, you would have called me. I wouldn't have been all that far away and I would have driven down. You know that._

_Seth is here as well today and he said you were probably really shot but shrugged and "walked it off". He's probably correct, you're just hard headed enough to try to do that._

_It was wonderful to see you again and Courtney is as lovely as ever. The parachute jump was every bit as exciting as I anticipated, even if it had such a terrifying outcome. I hope that you are still fine and were not too sore and bruised up afterwards._

_Once we made it home, I found Sissy was out again so it took us all night to find her almost a mile away in someone's back yard. They were quite surprised when a cow walked up into their yard! So not knowing what to do they put her into the back yard with some bread and called the police. Once everyone got onto the same page, it worked out fine._

_I hope that the rest of the week went smoothly and that you placed highly in all your contests. I'm certain you did, as I know what a high standard you set for yourself. I hate to make this such a short letter, but I have to get out to the milk room and turn all the butters and check on all the cheeses. With any luck some more cheese will finish curing soon and I can send some out for you to try._

_All my love,_

_Aunt Beth_

_P.S. You weren't really shot in the head, were you? It was someone threw a bullet at your head, right?_


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